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A New York Escorts Confessions

It’s Just a Fantasy

So there I was Sunday, just past my third beer, completely miserable. It was bad enough that Shaun Alexander, last year’s MVP of the league, was out with a broken foot for at least two games. Now I had to watch as Seattle, with no real running game to speak of, was getting pounded by the Vikings—at home no less. Was there hope for my team? Maybe, maybe not. But there was certainly Ray.

“You know, Steve Hutchinson used to play for Seattle,” Ray said after he introduced himself. After Seattle just went for three and out.

“Yeah. I know,” I replied testily. Isn’t there a rule that you don’t offer the other guy information about his or her own team? Especially when your star left guard was now playing for the opposing team and doing a great job of blocking your guys, his former teammates?

I looked him over. He was holding a graph-paper notebook with intricate notations in a perfectly rendered table. A fantasy football junkie if there ever was one.

Ray saw my eyes travel to his pad. “Hey,” he said, “Wanna see my stats?”

I was just about to answer with a flip, “Wanna see my ass as I change barstools to get away from you?” when I saw Seattle’s quarterback Matt Hasselbeck go down. And clutch his knee. And pound the grass in front of him in pain.

“No way. No fucking way! You have got to be kidding me!” I wailed and closed my eyes.

“That sucks. I’m going to be in the toilet too. He was my quarterback, see? Oh well. Can I buy you a beer?

Ok, here’s the thing. Men complain that their wives or girlfriends or love interests don’t share their love of sports. They hate lines like, “But you just went to the sports bar last Sunday,” or “You have to watch college AND professional? or the dreaded “When’s the game’s intermission again?” And here’s me, loaded with information, knowing the difference between a false start and off sides, loving my team, worshipping at their altar. And yet, guys just don’t seem respect that.

When I used to watch the games with S, it was amazing how many times another man would come over and talk to him about the game, but completely ignore me. Like I wasn’t even there. Like I was dumb eye candy. I thought that was bad. But it turns out S was doing me a favor. He was saving me from those who thought a sports bar was a pick up joint.

Case in point: last week Seattle was playing the Rams. At halftime, a guy wearing a Rams jersey came in and sat down on the bar stool closest to me. And then proceeded to move it so it was practically on top of me.

“Hey there sweetheart,” he said. “Can I buy you a lemon drop?”

“I’m a Seattle fan. And I’m drinking Yuengling.”

“Ooh. Feisty. I like that.” He turned to the bartender. “Hey can we get two lemon drops over here?”

Maybe men don’t really want women to be sports fans and women at the same time. Maybe, when it comes right down to it, they’re just not that into it.

Comments

As somebody who roots for a team not from my hometown, I don't think affections for a far-away team are odd. But I have to say that given that the Seahawks have never done a thing before last year, a transplanted Washingtonian living in New York is not exactly the type of person you'd expect to become a Seahawks fan. It's not like being a Steelers or Cowboys fan, or even a Cubs fan, since they have always had a national following. So how did the Seahawks come into your life?

Posted by Steven B on Oct 24 10:23AM

What kind of pussy drinks a lemon drop at a sports bar. You must have been in the West Village...not that there's anything wrong with that.

Posted by b on Oct 24 12:20PM

The Hawks are having a rough go of it, but it's a long season, and they're in a pretty weak division. don't be surprised to see them make a come back in the second half. sucks about Alexander and Hasselback going down, though. I'm going to see the Hawks play the Raiders at Qwest in a couple weeks. I'm a die-hard NY Giants fan (and that place has been a real house of horrors for us) but I'll definitely be cheering for Seattle (especially since the Giants aren't involved).

Posted by j on Oct 24 11:08PM

lol... a lemon drop !

http://membres.lycos.fr/indriescorte/

Posted by Indri on Oct 25 10:17AM

you off the hook ma, keep it real

Posted by Ari on Oct 26 12:22PM

Someone posted a comment that said your a transplanted Washingtonian (i.e. someone from the DC area)... just wondering what private school you went to there, since all Washingtonians generally go to some private school and we all know each other within less than 1 degree of seperation it seems...

Posted by American Gladiator on Nov 1 01:57AM

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