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A New York Escorts Confessions

What Would Freud Do?

This past weekend I flashed a four-year-old.

It starts like this: I spent the weekend in New Paltz at Rob and Cate’s house. The weeks around Labor Day make up, from my experience, the prime part of the yard sale season. And someone had told Cate that a NY Times stylist was getting set to unload a whole designer and vintage wardrobe in Woodstock. I was planning on setting up camp at 7:00 AM if I could help it.

Anyway, after we got back, I went to take a shower while Rob and Cate took off for a farmer’s market nearby. After ten minutes, I heard someone walking around the house. That was weird. Maybe they forgot something?

So I pulled back the shower curtain.

And stood there naked.

In front of a little boy.

“Do you have the playdough?” he asked.

I was so stumped on so many different levels I just stared at him. “No I don’t have the playdough,” I finally managed.

“Oh,” he said, and walked out of the room.

I stood there under the shower jet contemplating the whole of what had just had happened. Who was that little boy? Where had he come from? Had he understood what had just happened? And shit! What was he doing right now? Playing with knives in the kitchen? Falling off a high countertop? Telling his mommie I showed him my boobies?

I rushed out of the shower, grabbed a towel and ran into the kitchen. The boy was calmly drawing a picture at the table. At least I hadn’t killed him.

“Hello.”

“Hi.”

“I’m Alexa.”

“You have soap in your hair.”

So I did.

At that point, Rob and Cate came returned. “Ahh. So you met Abel,” Cate said, ruffling his hair. “He’s been experimenting with walking into other people’s houses. Haven’t you Abel?”

I tried to mouth to her what had just happened. “What?” Cate asked. I tried to say it again, this time through my teeth. “Alexa I can’t understand you. What?!”

“He. Saw. Me Naked.”

Cate started to giggle. “Give me five, buddy!” Rob said. “I’ve been trying to do that for ages.”

Later when I met Abel’s mother, she was similarly blase for him. She was though quite mortified for me. “I’m so so sorry sweetheart! I’m trying to get him to knock. I don’t know what—can I give you an apple muffin or something?”

I suppose it was kind of nice that nobody made a big deal out of it. And true to form, Abel didn’t seem to have taken it, this transgression of normalcy, in at all.

Still though, I wondered about the subconscious implications. I was the first naked woman this kid had seen other than his Mom. Would his first crush now be on a redhead? Would he always be looking for my boobs when he slipped off another girl’s bra? And would he later on, for no reason he could understand, feel the need to sneak into other people’s houses and bathrooms?

And as for me, was I ever going to be able to take another shower without feeling that if I pulled back the curtain I would come face to face with a staring toddler?

Comments

No worries, at four, so I'm assured, they don't realize naked is something you shouldn't be. ;-)

Posted by Headmistress on Aug 22 10:52AM

i beg to differ hehe

by the time he's in his teens, he'll be wanking at the memory of u - thats for sure ;)

lucky kid..

Posted by xman on Aug 23 12:27AM

I just had to say how truly endearing it is to read that you care so deeply aobut his future mental & sexual health. Intruiging to say the least! Nice Alexa!!!

Posted by Quercus on Aug 23 11:36AM

Since it appears he makes a habit of wandering into other peoples houses, I'm sure the sight of 'You' wasn't the most traumatic memory he'll ever have from his experiences.

Posted by Spiced on Aug 23 01:38PM

...so what sort of bargains did you get??

Posted by Spiced on Aug 23 01:41PM

Maybe the universe is telling you that when the time is right, you should meet up with Abel and give him that great first time experience that we all never had...no wait...that's borderline statutory rape...never mind.

Posted by David on Aug 23 05:20PM

Oh Gods! *laughs*

You poor poor thing!

However he probably will have a soft spot for red-heads later on down the track ;)

Posted by Sharn on Aug 24 09:20AM

As one of your business managers, Alex, I am wondering why you have not billed the family for the show.

Business is business and we can't make money if you are giving away freebee's like that.

4 or 40, billable is billable.

:-)

Posted by Charles on Aug 24 10:21AM

LMAO!! that had to suck. wow. i wouldnt worry about it tho. hes semi to young to really get it.

Posted by Jenny on Aug 25 11:49AM

I walked in on my parents having sex at 2 years old. and I remember it. It was scary. I never looked to repeat the experience by walking in on people having sex.

Posted by silvia on Aug 31 08:17PM

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