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A New York Escorts Confessions

The Pirates of Suburbia

The other day I was on the Upper East Side at one of my favorite wine bars, Bandol, when I ran into my former neighbor Lee. “Alexa! I’m so glad to see you!” And he kissed me three times on my cheeks, alternating sides as he went.

That Lee. He was impeccably dressed as always in a sort of Dolce and Gabbana meets urban cowboy kind of way. Apparently, he was some kind of a big wig in the advertising world. Being cutting edged hip was part of the game, I guess.

When Lee was my neighbor, he was always talking about girls. Girls he was dating, girls he wanted to date, what he liked in a girl…what designer the girl was wearing, how she should do gyrotonics to slim down her hips. He was a spinning freak who religiously hit his gym—in Chelsea—at 6:00 AM every morning. He didn’t like football even though he was from Sound Bend, Indiana, the home of Notre Dame, which had to be some kind of public offense in that town.

I could never figure him out. I always wondered if all the girl talk was A) him overcompensating B) him trying to pull one over on me or C) him simply being your average Upper West Side metrosexual.

“Alexa I want you to meet someone. My fiancĂ©e. Wendy! Over here. Come meet someone.”

Well if the answer was B he had certainly pulled out all the stops this time.

She plain and slim but, just like her future husband, perfectly coiffed and accessorized. What struck me though was how familiar she looked. I wracked my brain. Had I met her somewhere? Or did she just remind me of someone? I searched her face. When she lifted her chin to look behind me I noticed a large birth mark just under her ear.

Every once in a while, life in New York delivers it’s own smash cut. And suddenly I was ten years old again and Wendy was eight. And we were naked behind a large black umbrella in my dad’s home office.

We were playing pirates, a game that I had come up with. Basically it went like this: Wendy and I were stolen away by a group of pirates on an old sailing ship. There were about fifty of them and we were the only girls there. At first they chained us up on deck. Somehow we were dressed in all white, in pristine Victorian clothes. But soon they made us strip and threw our clothes overboard. Then they would push us below deck and into a claustrophobic room with no portholes. There we were chained to these hospital beds that had cut-outs around our lower backs and bottoms. The pirates would light candles underneath us and would stand and watch over us as we squirmed and shouted for help and tried to get away.

When the candles burned out, the pirates would take us into a room where again there were hospital beds. They would make us lay down and would take turns laying their hands all over us. Sometimes they didn’t take turns though. Sometimes four or five of them would touch us all at once. They would command us to flip over then run their hands over the lengths of our thighs our cheeks our backs, our underarms our necks.

There were many variations. But one thing was always the same. I got to be the pirate.

“Nice to meet you,” Wendy said distractedly, as I stumbled back into the present. Her eyes briefly met mine. And I could swear her pupils changed ever so slightly. I felt hot and embarrassed, a lump in my throat. She turned to Lee. “Can we go?

“Sorry Alexa. Wendy’s doing a C-section first thing in the morning.”

So the victim became the gynecologist. I have to wonder, was I in any way responsible?

Comments

Talk about about ghosts of sexual history past...I wonder if she remembers? And more importantly wants to play pirates again?

Posted by Indiana on Apr 28 04:58AM

you have some imagination. how did that girl not recognize you?

Posted by silvia on Apr 28 05:08PM

silvia: She just MAY have recognized her.
That was quite a brief hello - and a pretty quick exit.

And man, kids have the weirdest games. You never realize until you're older just how bizarre they were, because they don't seem weird when you're little.

Posted by Laurel on Apr 28 05:38PM

Avast ye scurvy dogs! Prepare to be boarded!

Argh maties!

Wish I was one of the pirates too.

Posted by Glen on Apr 28 07:56PM

This sounds like one of the made-up fantasies that Belle de Jour had to traffic in when she was still in the business. Which leads me to my point: you make up almost everything on here and intercut it with city life stories fresh from Zagat, all so that the handful of men who read this site will pull it out and dream about a girl who doesn't exist.

Posted by Oksana on Apr 28 11:45PM

Yeah, the pirate fantasy seems more like that of a teenaged boy than a 10-year-old girl. Maybe I'm naive.

Posted by Moonlighting Escort on Apr 29 11:26AM

Well, personally, I find it comes as a bit of a relief when I see examples of other women who played uber-pervy games as a youngster.

A neighbor girl and I had our own version of cowboys-and-Indians: Upon capture, the "cowboy" was tied to a pole and the Indian "tortured" her by sticking feathers into her cowgirl nether regions. We took turns playing each role (my first evidence of being a switch) and it was loads of fun - until the parents noticed. We were 7.

It made perfect sense at the time.

Posted by Mira on Apr 29 02:44PM

I can recall at least three games like this while a pre-teen. I've turned pretty heterosexual and boring so far, yet I did start early; as early as two y.o., playing with myself in ways that pushed my parents to the limit of negative motivation and doctors' advices.

Some people may have been clean of such games--how boring ;)--, yet it's my guess that most simply won't allow themselves to remember.

Posted by gorgeoux on Apr 30 03:42PM

I had kinky kiddy games, I admit. Mine were the same thing....the person's knickers were confiscated and they had to do crime and punishment to get their knickers back. Christ my life was hotter and kinkier at 8.

Posted by alicia on May 1 10:57AM

Being a pirate is fun ;)!

Posted by Jolly Roger on May 1 09:31PM

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