Ouch.......... church friends scare the crap out me! Couple that with unknown cooking on Thanksgiving and it's downright terrifying....
At least Pete can take solice in the outcome of the Ohio State Michigan game. Oh, right, he went to Michigan!!

Heh, I did the Jell-O mold thing this year for our thanksgiving back in October. I resisted, but it turned out rather well. As to the Ritz cracker stuffing, on the other hand, well, I don't like to talk about it.

yea..if i were a whore like yourself I would certainly be worried about having thanksgiving dinner with 'church friends'...but..since you like shoes so much, put the shoe on the other foot....how freaked out would these 'church friends' be if they knew they were having thanksgiving dinner with a whore/hooker??? just keeping it real

Well I have learned from a good many years of going home to face the family as the heathen whose beleifs don't fall in line that it is best just to play the game. Like Pete said, close your eyes and think of shoes if that is waht you want to do. I tend to just close my eyes and thank god they didn't ask me to do the blessing (funny sentence that one). When it comes to the traditions, well as much as we all love to hold onto our past and our traditions you were right in telling ma to move on and you should take solace in the fact she listened. Be supportive, play the game and keep a smile (they will never know the difference) and have a good time. Even if you don't like them they are your mom's friends.

Jojo: What your being isn't real...except perhaps REAL rude.

A couple pennies from Jeregano

Actually, Alexa, pardon me for saying so, but I think you are being a bit selfish here.

Point: you yourself admit here that it was you that encouraged her to seek out her own life. She has done so, and she's obviously happier and comfortable with this.

She's seeking to include you in her own life. And by you resisting -- either overtly or discretely -- you're going against the very advice you gave her previously.

You're exhibiting behavior here that's akin to "having your cake and eating it, too". Which, in reality, is a phrase I never understood -- why would you have a cake in the first place, if you weren't going to eat it? -- but you understand my point here.

You want her to have her own life, but you alway want her to not leave her old life -- since that's a part of your part.

I understand your feelings here -- and obviously, you concerns regarding your profession (and what the hell is up with your brother's wife? Wierd). But, you've covered these places before, and you can again.

Give your Mother a chance to take YOUR advice to her. Don't reneg on that promise of fulfillment.

I'm quite sure you are highly critical of "judgemental" people; I have no doubt it's a word you use often, in disdain. But you don't even know these people, and yet you are declaring you can't stand to be in their presence for even a few hours.

Now, who's being judgemental?

You have a relationship with your mother that you know has the real possibility of her being devastated if she actually knew what you did for a living. And yet you claim to be personally offended by the fact that you might have to spend a few hours with some people you already have decided you don't like, simply because they attend church.

It's time to grow up. This might have been your worst post ever.

And one other thing...I spelled judgemental wrong.

I ALWAYS do that!

Why not ask your mom to have some of the thanksgiving favorites the next day? sort of a mini compromise? I hate when we have to do different shit for thanksgiving, I want it to always be my mom's meal that she kicks ass at making. Other people always screw it up :(

sorry.

i'd have to agree with I.M..

this is HER new life.. but she is trying to include you in it as well.. becuz you are important to her too..

church friends can be scary.. but for your mother.. you should try to give them a chance..
they are a part of HER life now.. and she's happy with that..
you should give her more love and support..
for doing an obvious difficult thing.. starting a new life.. and making friends.. on her own..

help your mom.. make new family traditions..
and be happy for her.. that she's happy..

from the sounds of your brother's non-support of your concerns.. you're all alone in worrying.. with no back-up..

you might have to swallow your pride a bit.. and just go with the flow.. for your mother..
you'll still be a family together.. just with some extra guests..

Family holidays are messy, but church people are just people. I'd rather spend Thanksgiving on a river in my kayak, but 'duty calls.' Grin and bear it. Pretend like you are interested in the others. Hug your Mom and tell her you love her. I've never really enjoyed 'the holidays' but for the sake of the others in my family I smile anyway. Nice piece of writing.

Holidays -- I have to keep repeating all the way through them -- I love my children and I love their children -- like a mantra over and over. Of course, the Atavin helps greatly.

Your mom - church friends hmmmmm - they may not be your cup of tea, and they definitely wouldn't be mine, but at least she has made friends. My advice would be to smile and nod as much as possible, all the while thinking about something pleasant.

JoJo, you have possibly got to be one of the rudest and crudest people I have ever met in my life. I can see where you were going with your comment, and it even made a bit of sense, but you could have phrased it much more delicately.

Hope you have an enjoyable holiday with your mom, bro and his family!!!!

Skipping tradition is really hard, especially when friends and family are coming from far away and are exicted about it. I can completely understand where you are coming from, Alexa.

At the same time, I see that you want your mother to begin a new life. Take it from someone who has seen her own mother regroup: the first set of new friends isn't always the permanent group. Go along, bring back good stories and giggle. And if the food sucks, your family should regroup the next day for Act II: Thanksgiving Boogaloo.

P.S. Bring pie.

I'm on your side. After my dad died, my mom ran out and found someone new and now she wants him to be a part of everything. It may be her life, but when it starts invading into your life than it's not just hers. It's probably great that your mom is making friends, there isn't a rule you have to like them. (It's not like there's a rule she has to like all of your friends, right?)

Totally on your side.

I've read all of the posts on this blog. Every situation is unique, and it isn't fair to comment on Alexa's concerns about the church friends until you understand the huge role (I'm insinuating) the church has played in her life.

I would note that Alexa's family takes Thanksgiving *very* seriously. You wouldn't invite a new boyfriend to this type of family event, so it is similarly not an appropriate place to meet Mom's new friends.

Reading between the lines, it sounds as though Pete is none too happy about this either, but the whole tradition thing is less important to him. This means that Mom is unilaterally terminating what seems to be one of the family's most sacred traditions.

It's good that Mom is making new friends, but this is simply taking things too far too fast. (There's a cynical part of me that questions if these friends are more interested in proselytizing than having actually found a deep connection.)

Yeah, certainly no way they would be interested in sharing Thanksgiving with a new friend. It's probably all just part of their missionary work.

Alexa's Mom: I'd love to have you join me for Thanksgiving! You can meet my son and his wife, and my daughter!

Church friends: Sure, we'd love to come (they say but they are really thinking "but we don't really want to come but are more interested in the possible opportunity to have somebody accept Jesus as their savior!)"

It's time for some people to come back to planet Earth....

sorry you people think I am rude, but the truth hurts sometimes...i just call 'em like i see 'em

Alexa,

I don't understand why you're so freaked out by your mom's "church friends". It's not like they have the plague. And it's not like they're going to try and convert you. My parents are "church people", and believe me, they don't start passing Bibles when they have guests in their house.

And why did you conjure up all sorts of stereotypes about them, like using only canned food? I thought that, as someone in your line of work, you would be more open minded to people.

I understand that you feel uncomfortable in doing Thanksgiving differently this year. It throws things off. But as others have already said, you encouraged your mom to start a new life for herself. She just wanted you and your brother to catch a glimpse of it by meeting her new friends. What's the harm in that?

I've had two Thanksgivings in which I was out of the country. I was working in Japan at the time. Yes, it was kind of strange and yes, I was homesick but at the same time it was a unique experience because I celebrated it with a group of close friends. My family has on occasion gone to Thanksgiving parties and forgone our own celebration, and those moments turned out just fine.

Thanksgiving is a time to be with family and/or close friends, right? Then just enjoy your time with your mom and your brother and sister in law.

Alexa, I may not celebrate Thanksgiving but I know how you feel when it comes to having your own routines on the holidays. My parents divorced four years ago and I've had a different Christmas every year since. Some I've enjoyed but others have made me want to escape Christmas altogether and hole up somewhere with a pile of books and lots of booze. But I hope you enjoy spending time with your mother and family instead of wasting it worrying about the church people. Make the most of it.

Holidays! You just gotta love them......look at the passion in the comments. Enjoy your family! Have a safe and relaxing Thanksgiving!

PS Enjoy the kids too! You are building their traditions.