It seems so odd to me to do that, I am a Dom and have been for years, friends know it family knows it, there are some people you can open up to. I am sure it eats away at you to hide it all the time, be proud of who you are, if you are happy, they will be happy for you if they are true friends.

Bullshit. People are innately judgemental, it's necessary, it's the basis for discerning.
Your folks shouldn't know, they'll be happier. As far as that guy, he seemed pretty cool.
Your writing is getting very good.

woot.

Hmm, tough call. I know what you mean about telling people what you get up to on the net and elsewhere. There are some friends you can tell (very few) and family which you simply can't.

I've been pondering why for a while. I'm a big boy now, why should I be embarassed about my sexuality and writings? But I think you've hit the nail on the head - Close friends and family are comfortable, familiar, no matter how well adjusted you are to your lifestyle there are some people you jsut can't open up to.

Alex

It's true that people are judgemental, but at the same time they will follow your lead. By not acknowledging what you do, that reinforces the idea that it is bad. If you just own up to it and act like it's No Big Deal, most people will follow along and think it's all right.

Hobie seems like a kindred spirit but there's no way to be sure he's not going to pass on that juicy gossip to the folks back home. When, and if, you're ready for people to know about your life, it should be your choice. You made the right choice.

i guess it all boils down to who the person you're telling it to is - in this case, i think u did the right thing

There is no right or wrong.
Flip the situation. How do you think Hobie felt about what he told you? How did YOU feel about what he told you? We are all both judgemental and uncomfortable at the same time. You simply have to make whatever works for yourself work.

If it really bothers you, and you have a tel# to contact him at, you could always call him and tell him you were uncomfortable giving out the site address and you didn't know how to deal with your discomfort. I think it's actually the truth, in a way - yes? On the other hand, is he still in touch with your family? Do you want to end up in a situation where he knows something your family doesn't? I think in the end, you did what you had to do and yes, you are right.

I think that you should have continued with your story about writing porn on the internet. After all, he trusted you enough and told you about his job. Now he may feel that you tricked him in divulging his secret.

You can tell him that you aren't supposed to give out the URL because you work for a specific company and the writers are supposed to be anonymous. You could then tell him good luck looking for it himself.

you did the right thing..

there is nothing wrong with what you do.. the others are right.. people are judgemental.. and might not be able to handle the truth..

you could always say.. right upfront.. that

"it's personal business".. meaning that "it's personal.. and none of their business.."
quote from FERRIS BUELLER'S DAY OFF..

Considering your profession is, lets say, 'sensitive,' I don't think it would be smart to to tell him out of the blue the first time you've seen him for years. Given that he is (at least somewhat) in the adult industry he might be cooler about it than the average person, but I still think you did the right thing.

I'm surprised you don't have a stock answer ready and rehearsed for that question. I hate being asked what I do as well, not because I'm embarassed or antyhing.. 'Im a computer consultant' just isn't exactly captivating.

ugh, i hate that feeling of hiding part of your life. i have about 3 friends who know about my site, and it's a big cover up act with everybody else (family included). while i would love to be completely open, at the same time i know i never would be. as soon as my family knew, i would delete about 98% of the site, change the location or shut it down, and feel uncomfortable around them like i was waiting for the other shoe to drop.

anyway, i think if you had his number you could at least apologize for the abrupt exit, but have an explanation ready for him.

Aw sweetie, I so relate to this. I can be so honest with some people and not with others re. stripping. It's not about you, it's about them. You've seen how some people react and so you keep it to yourself to avoid hurting others, and in the process yourself. Well, that's why I don't tell my little asian accountant roommates anyway. Sod it. Know anyone who needs a roommate?

You know you can play each encounter as it comes and each person as you get a feel for them. Just because someone asks what you do doesn't mean you have to tell them, be as evasive as you need. Stay in touch and if it feels right let them know in due time, if not move on or keep it quiet. It is always nice to have friends who are in your inner circle, but it is also nice to have people feel comfortable around you if that is what you need. Some people are better at being out all the time with everyone one, if your not then keep it quiet until the time is right and so is the person. Sounds like with this one you did the right thing if you were uncomfortable enough to second guess yourself.

WORK IS FOR PEOPLE WHO CANNOT FISH.

wow. this guy opened up to you and look at what you did. think about what he's feeling now. im really dissapointed, well i probably shoudnt be, but you dont really seem to be as great as i thought you were.