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A New York Escorts Confessions

Me and the Bohemians

Oh gosh oh gee oh me oh my. Guess what guess what guess what?!! I am suddenly and unexpectedly—and quite deliciously I might add—being whisked off to…PRAGUE for a week! Am I a lucky girl or what?

Oh I can’t wait. I can’t wait to be dumbstruck by the magic of that unbelievable architecture. I’ve seen pictures of the castle and the old churches and squares. It looks like a set on a old Disney movie. I can’t wait to wander the cobblestone streets and stroll the medieval courtyards and and and—I don’t know. Just get good and lost. I want to indulge in real European espresso and get such a caffeine buzz going that I have to run laps around the castle! I want to feast on beer and dumplings and saurkraut (isn’t it wonderful to be bad in the name of experiencing local culture?) in some great neighborhood pub! Maybe see a classical music concert of native son Dvorak? Maybe check out a couple of the underground rock clubs? Oooh—perhaps take the waters somewhere?

Prague is being brought to me courtesy of P, a casual boyfriend I’ve had for some time. I use that term “boyfriend” loosely. P’s okay. He’s a bit of a show off with his money, a bit of a braggart about his job (really I don’t care that you made partner. I really really don’t.) What he does have in spades though is great taste and great connections. He was the first with Per Se reservations and Producers tickets, the first to get access to Bungalow 8 and become a member of Soho House. If he can work miracles like that in New York, there’s no telling what we’ll get to do in Prague.

So what’s the catch you say? Yes the catch. Why is there always a catch? Because P is not only bringing me.

He’s bringing his wife.

Apparently, when they decided to get married, P and Mrs. P agreed to have an open marriage. Apparently, Mrs. P thought ‘open marriage’ meant they’d get to talk about things like, well, feelings. She was actually none to happy to find out about yours truly, especially when finding out meant finding P bringing himself to climax in their linen closet with one of my recently worn Cosabela thongs. (Did not give him the parting gift by the way. He took it on his own.) A row of epic proportions ensued.

Supposedly, though, they’ve reached some kind of agreement. P says Mrs. P’s just curious and wants to get to know me. She was the one who suggested that I come along with them on their trip.

I know. I know. You’re all at home screaming at your computer. Step away from the plane ticket Alexa! Get thee to a brain surgeon. Do not pass GO. Do not collect $200. I hear you. I know. But it’s Prague! I’ve never been! It’s supposed to be beautiful! And I mean honestly, what could really go so wrong?

Comments

Alexa my dear....

If you must go bring plenty of mad money as well as names of people to call in Prague should you need to get out of there fast.

Always turn your passport into your hotel separately from P and Mrs. P

I hope things go well and you have a fantastic time!!!

Posted by Noor on Oct 13 10:40PM

I really want to see Prague some time. I am dying to see the Astrological clock in person, and the Charles bridge, and the Jewish cemetary, and the castle on the hill (whose name I forget). You're very lucky.

I hope you have a spellbinding and safe time. When do you go?

In the very early '90s the thinking was that Prague would be to the '90s what Paris was to the '20s, re: literature, but that never materialized. I had a novel idea I'd wanted to set in Prague, but that, too, never materialized. :)

Take the chances, but also take precautions. Enjoy yourself. If you can prolong the trip at ALL, you should take an extra 4-5 days and go to Budapest. I mean, since you're in the 'hood and all. Geez.

A couple I knew said their most romantic moment was a rainy night on a Prague street when they were privy to a five-string ensemble playing on a street corner, with no one else around. The ensemble shared their wine with the couple and the couple stood there for a half hour, listening to some of the finest live music they'd ever heard. I hope you get to experience the same magic.

Posted by scribecalledsteff on Oct 13 11:13PM

Last time I was in that part of the world, I saw 2 dead bodies on the streets of Budapest, also, don't lean on any buildings in Prague, they do incredible stucco work there, I once leaned on a building that appeared to be made out of very large stone bricks, and fell inside of it. It is, however, beautiful over there, and as long as you don't get killed/robbed/stranded, you should have a fantastic time. Oh, and the price for a life over there is much cheaper, might be why the wife wants you to come.

Posted by PM on Oct 14 01:46AM

Sounds like fun except for the potentially psycho Mrs. P. Have fun but please, keep an out in case the collective P's decide to bring you smack into the middle of a huge fight.

Posted by Jenn on Oct 14 02:33AM

Have fun and be careful. a little advise if I may, Don't stand too close to any railings and/or ledges while Mrs. P is around.

Posted by Cristina on Oct 14 08:51AM

Prague is fantastic. A beautiful and mysterious city. When I was last there it seemed as if being hot was a requirement for living in the city. Put differently, if you wanted to see tons of hot women, all you had to do was ride the subway for a few hours.

Of course, Prague invented defenestration (assassination by throwing one out of a high window) so be careful when climbing towers or Cathedrals.

Or think optimistically, maybe Mrs. P just wants a little taste of you.

Good luck and have fun.

Posted by Noah on Oct 14 09:32AM

Ummmmmmmmm..... A few red flags there. I would be nervous. I say have lots of VERY cautious fun...with a seperate room with one key! I would be a little concerned. My worry would probably keep me from having a good time. Good luck, do try to have fun and do play safe!

Posted by Jeregano on Oct 14 09:45AM

Danger, Will Robinson, Danger!!

Posted by Charles on Oct 14 10:32AM

oh, you know she wants you

Posted by Saltation on Oct 14 10:44AM

Once Mrs. P knows your name (passport) she could easily make trouble for you back in NYC (if not Prague as others have mentioned). Doesn't seem like it's worth it to open yourself up to any number of potential situations devised by a jealous wife.

Posted by Harper on Oct 14 12:24PM

Please don't take this the wrong way but this is like taking coals to Newcastle... I am sure that you are spectacular but Prague is escort central. In Europe, most "punters", if they want a bit of fun, either go to Prague or fly a girl from Prague to whereever they are going because it is such spectacluar value (though the girl will only have rudimentary communication skills).

But then again, maybe he has some threesomes in mind that don't include his wife...

Posted by Salvatori on Oct 14 01:33PM

Alexa,
I am truly concern... Prague does sound beautiful but one thing came to mind when I read... I got sorta scared for you... Really... so many things can happen in a strange city... but there is the hope that all would be good and you would have an amazing time! I tell you I have gotten myself in some hairy situations, like the time I went to a hotel room with 2 perfectly cute strangers who I met on the streets of downtown and spend the night with them and took them to home for breakfast... I was lucky and hopefully you are too...

Posted by maizzy on Oct 14 01:47PM

Alexa! Don't step away from the plane - step away from the people!

Prague's a fantastic place. Nearly everyone who's been there seems to come away telling you to beware but that's because they'd been told that before they went. See as much of the city as you can; it's beautiful and I'm very jealous. Just be on your guard for pickpockets and people who offer to exchange money.

If you want a *vaguely* American-abroad experience check out 'Bohemia Bagel' - there's one at the bottom of the hill that takes you up to the Eiffel Tower-kind-of thing and another in the old town somewhere.

Incidentally, I visited New York a couple of weeks ago and fell in love with the place.

Posted by bytheseashore on Oct 14 04:47PM

Have to agree with Noor here, I'm sure you're smart enough to have a backup plan and don't forget money if you are ditched there and contacts. Learn a little Czech language to get you by if you need it because I found that few could help me out there in English. Take in the sights, of course. Lovely, all around. Imagine, that cobblestone is centuries old and is still maintained by city workers manually stone by stone.

Drink some Pilsner even if you don't like strong beer; it's the thing to do. And, this may be your only change to try absinthe, and everyone will be asking you when you get back home, so try it if you can and want to.

I don't know your interests there, but if you want to get out of the touristy area, head towards the train stations/subways because you might see a few gypsies (Roma) around playing accordians, harmonicas, and guitars. And, if you have some spare change on you, they'd appreciate it because they don't get a fair run in life in their country. They get shitting education, treated like they don't exist by mainstream society, and nobody wants to hire them, so they're stuck on the streets with little government provision. Anyhow, that was my political rant, but they do play great music as well.

If you have the chance to take in a Roma concert, don't miss out. Flamenco dancing and superb music, what a treat.

Posted by Sam on Oct 14 05:17PM

I started to count the red flags in the comments but lost count. How about a seperate hotel, you pick the location and only Mr. P knows.

Had a Chezk Republic young lady (20's) stay with us once, beautiful girl, pro tennis player. Made me want to visit the country.

Waiting for the "rest of the story"..

Posted by tennis player on Oct 14 05:53PM

"N.Y.'s No. 1 Escort Reveals All" trumpeted the
cover story in New York Magazine. Inside it told the story of Natalie
McLennan, 25, who boasted of her career as a prostitute in the Big
Apple. She told of how she earned $2,000 per hour, with a two-hour
minimum. Then she hit the talk show circuit in hopes of getting her own
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and charged with money laundering, prostitution and promoting
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Posted by jw on Oct 15 07:12AM

lucky you!
i believe it is absolutely beautiful! not been there, but my parents did, way back in the 70s ... they got back some exquisite lead crystalm which i inherited

Posted by karma on Oct 15 11:34AM

Go, be careful, take in the culture, have an amazing trip, and come home safe.

Posted by Di on Oct 15 10:24PM

OMG! You are going to have a blast! Europe Rocks! I'm from Hungary, and I have to tell ya, you are going to have a blast! Enjoy all the Tasty Beers and site seeing! w00t!

Posted by Jay4DaTaste on Oct 15 11:15PM

I'm sure that Prague is great and all, but I somehow don't think that Mrs. P. wants to become buddy buddy with you. She's probably going to size you up to figure out why her husband is spending his time with you and not her.

I'd suggest that you don't go with them on the trip. You'll have plenty of chances to go to Prague- don't go with an enraged wife.

Posted by Toni on Oct 17 04:31AM

w00t? who says w00t? Is it normal in Hungary to say w00t or other inane net babble?
Alexa, you should go just to say w00t out loud.

Posted by popers on Oct 18 01:05PM

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