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A New York Escorts Confessions
Go Fuck Yourself. Seriously.
The Cunting Linguist says…
A dude dropped me a line over at The Cunting Linguist and I thought it was a nifty topic to share. He wrote:
Late at night your long-time female partner believes you are alseep and commences to masturbate right there beside you in the cot.
The unmistakable sound of her arousal soon has e breathing heavy, but she’s concentrating so hard she thinks it is snoring coming from my side of the bed.
What should a man do in these circumstances, expecially as she has denied this activity ever took place when challenged previously? Sex life is quite OK, but she obviously wants more and wants it solo.
Should I request she leaves the room to perform this act of self-service?
Signed,
Not Snoring, Breathing Heavy
When your lover’s laying next to you and apparently wants an unmanned journey to The Big O, there are a few questions you need to ask yourself, Mr. NSBH.
- One, is my sex life as good as I’ve been deluding myself that it is?
- Two, have I really been honest when talking to my lover about sex?
- Three, is she comfortable truly telling me her desires?
- Four, what can I do to have her wanting me to join in?
- Five, is there something wrong with my approach?
Now, I couldn’t help but notice you said she “denied this activity ever took place when challenged previously.” Allow me to pull a Dr. Phil here and point out your choice of language: “denied” and “challenged.” The tone’s argumentative, and it leads me to suspect you may have dropped the ball when you addressed the issue in the past.
She shouldn’t have been challenged, and shouldn’t have been put in a place of having to “deny” or “admit”. That’s inarguable. Masturbation may not be mentioned by name in the Charter of Rights and Freedoms, but I tell you, we’re all entitled, baby, and so is she.
But was she in the right to be doing it right then? Well, that’s the debatable part, and I say no.
If your lover is fucking themselves in bed next to you, there’s really only three ways that goes.
- One, they want to be discovered because they secretly desire to fuck you.
- Two, they’re already fucking — with your mind — and are doing it to taunt you.
- Three, maybe it really is a sudden middle-of-the-night desire and they’re just dealing with it as the situation arises, so to speak.
Situation three seems not to apply to this case in point, since it’s happened on more than one occasion.
Face it: If you’re in bed, masturbating, and your lover’s six inches to your left, you might as well be lying there with a low-wattage neon sign that’s shouting “fuck me now, please.”.
Maybe, though, you’re part of the really ignorant segment of society whereby you feel you have the right to lie next to your partner, masturbate, then tell them you’re not interested in them helping. If so, I got to tell you, you’re a right cunt.
Get out of bed and masturbate someplace where you won’t be fucking with your partner’s head. They deserve that, at the very least.
The fact is, most of us, when faced with someone masturbating by our side, will find ourselves ragingly horny as a result.
If you’re a guy, and your woman is doing this to you, then I say you should try to get in on the act. Personally, I’d welcome it. A middle-of-the-night fuck is always one of my favourite kinds.
Now, don’t be an idiot and start talking to her. You may catch her offguard and shock the mood right out of her. No, better to keep your mouth shut. Just lightly trace a finger up her thigh or gently bite her shoulder. Do not try to get a touchdown by rushing for her genitals. She’s already aroused and they’re hypersensitive. Do a light tracing and guage her reaction.
A quiet moan from her means you’re in. Rub your palm down her, and back up. Maybe find your way to her breasts. If she starts responding more, then continue with the surface play for a little while longer, letting her tell you what to do, while you prolong the tease before delivering. If you do things right, you’ll either go down on her or enter her, depending on what she wishes, since this particular session ought to be all about her, since she’s generously allowing you along for the ride.
If she’s not interested in you joining — she gasps, grumbles, or just suddenly stops and rolls over — then you need to have a conversation in the morning, but save your pride and roll over for now.
I don’t think there’s anything wrong with masturbating when you’re in a relationship. I think it’s fine. It’s better if you have a healthy sex life and let your partner help you, but it’s not a death knell. But no lover gets carte blanche. You do not get to lie in bed next to your lover, fuck yourself, and tell them essentially to fuck themselves when they want to be fucking you in your moment of fuck-worthiness.
It just ain’t right. You want to do self-service? Then do it where you’re by yourself.
After all, Elvis said it best, baby. Don’t be cruel.
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confessionsComments
janet, thanks for the find. omg. mine was more hi-tech, but equally painful in the end.
Posted by alexa on Oct 6 05:02PMCharter of Rights & Freedoms?! As in CANADA?! With anal sex and gay marriage both being decided by the courts to be charter rights, you might have just looked over masturbation, it's gotta be in there somewhere! hah
Posted by Chad on Oct 6 07:24PMHi, I'm a new visitor to your blog and have enjoyed reading it immensely. Alexa, I think you have great advice and I have a lot of respect for you because of your views.
Regarding the posting above, I can relate. I was married at one time and it was my first relationship. I don't think I was really ready for sex at the time and it showed. The relationship started when I was 19 years old and it ended when I was around 22 or 23 years old. I never got off from having sex with my husband. I wasn't turned on by him and the only way I could get off was by myself, so I too masturbated at night after he fell asleep. Soon after the marriage ended (for obvious reasons), I started having sex and started to enjoy it. It could be she just isn't sexually aroused by her husband. It doesn't mean that she doesn't love him or doesn't find him attractive. It just means that she isn't aroused by him or maybe she just hasn't developed a sex drive yet. Not sure what kind of advice to give her, because I don't know of any cure. Him joining in might embarass or scare her off.
Posted by Lovely on Oct 6 09:38PMI've done that several times, but my reasoning is this....
I'm doing it that close to him and he doesn't know! It's a secret.
SMITTY -- Right on.
CHAD -- I *love* being Canadian. Maybe I'll stay in tonight and give my country a charter salute solo.
LOVELY -- Glad you enjoyed the post, but it was by me (Steff) and not Alexa, though Alexa's blog does really rock. :)
I think dude's relationship needs a little work if she's resistent to him joining her or ambivalent of him knowing. Masturbating beside your partner is fine -- provided you wouldn't mind them helping you.
If you MIND, then something in the relationship is lacking, and it needs a hell of a lot more of a salvo than some punk-ass posting like this can provide. :)
AGFH -- One of these days I'll have to tell the story of when three of us were "sleeping" in a bed. I was getting awesome oral from the guy while my friend was sound asleep by my side. It was awesome. One of my best experiences ever. Playing on the verge of getting caught rocks. Really rocks.
The friend never woke and was flabbergasted when I told her the next day. Whee!
Posted by scribecalledsteff on Oct 7 12:44AMSteff, I didn't notice the posting was from you. Sorry about that! :) I agree with everything you had to say. Not to say their experience is like mine at all, but if that was the case, yes, the relationship needs a little work and something in the relationship is lacking.
Posted by Lovely on Oct 7 07:34AMAnother excelent post! Sound advice! IF it ever happens to me NOW I am prepared! And I agree,it could just be a "GOD I NEED SOME NOW" middle of the night urge and she would not be against a little help. Just two more cents from Jeregano
Posted by Jeregano on Oct 7 02:02PMI answered a similar (though admittedly much broader) question on my blog a while back. I linked the URL tag to the specific entry if you are interested in taking a look.
Posted by Algor_Langeaux on Oct 8 11:35AMThe closest I've had to this was when I was with my ex-fiancee, aka Evil Bitch. We were out of town, and after a night out, ended up having sex back in the hotel room. I finished sooner than she did...at which point I was kicked out of my own hotel room. She wanted to finish herself off, and would not only not let me help, but wouldn't even let me in my own freakin' hotel room until she was done. Unfortunately, I didn't really come to my senses until well after I'd bought the damn ring.
Posted by Jolly Roger on Oct 9 12:16AMAfter reading the post another thought popped. What if ... maybe ... she is enjoying a truly rich fantasy that involves knowing he is awake but pretending sleep (she hears his breathing and *knows*) but wanting to rub one out while he listens lying beside her with a hard-on. And then she is ashamed of her fantasy (which really gets her off as nothing else does) and is too embarrased to tell him or explain herself.
Mind you this relationship clearly has issues (I agree with the analysis of hostile overtones based on his wording) and they are having trouble communicating. Sounds like it is doomed unless he finds his way to a little humility about his poor communication skills. And if she is mind-fucking him, well one good fuck deserves another -- heh. Got no patience for chicks (or guys for that matter) who play those games.
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about me
So why am I writing this blog? I have an inner exhibitionist that just needs to be let out. I've always wanted to bare myself completely in front of strangers but have always been held back by fear.
As strange as it may sound, I've never really truly bared myself in front of any of my clients. For all that they've seen, they've never seen me be me. And for all that I've seen, I simply need to share it with you!
So why should you come? To be tantalized and teased. To get release by knowing the true me.
I promise that I won't bite, and if I do bite, I'll make sure you like it!
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Alexa,
Dunno if you have seen this.
Saw it and thought of you - http://www.slashfood.com/2005/10/04/lapjuicer/
Posted by Janet on Oct 6 12:31PM