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A New York Escorts Confessions

Fizzle Fo’ Shizzle, Baby

The Cunting Linguist says…

A reader dropped me a line. Seems she’s thinking it’s time for the big threesome experience. She’s been with her man a dog’s age. Longer, maybe. One of those open-minded “fuck-me-now” sizzle-bang-bang type relationships that’s always stayed monogamous since it’s been so healthy and rewarding since day one. Now that they’re older, wiser, and have tried so much, why not spark it all in a bigger, better, two-fer kinda way?

Well, because He has hesitations, basically. She wants to know how to “persuade” him to get over his apprehensions towards watching another man fuck the stuffing out of his woman.

You wanna persuade him, honey? Have at it. Tell him, “I’ll be so hot for you after it all. I’ll fuck you six ways to Sunday, baby. Every day.” You can even tell him, “I’ll learn to suck a golf ball through a garden hose all for you, baby.”

Best way to persuade a man is by telling him all the dirty little things you’ll do deliver him to his sexual nirvana. Persuading a man is easy. Oh, so very easy. Far too fucking easy for your good, honey.

You know what hesitation is in the land of men? It’s your early warning system. When a man shows hesitation, he’s telling you he ain’t comfortable, and he’s telling you to proceed at your own risk. Fact is, if he’s hesitant, and you press him, he’ll likely acquiesce — not because he’s changed his mind, but because he doesn’t want to hear
about it anymore. “If I do it, it will go away, and life will go back to normal,” is what he’s probably thinking. The path of least resistance — the man’s credo.

Fact is, in this scenario, the number one thing most men will feel is threatened.

It all comes down to their manhood. Are they man enough to watch their woman get fucked, then be the follow-up act? Are they big enough? Are they hard enough? Are they good enough? Can they shake that image of their woman getting penetrated — again and again and again — by some other guy? Will she look different when she orgasms, and can they live with that image playing in their mind every time afterwards?

Fact is, it’s your fantasy. Odds are pretty good you’re gonna really blow the gasket when this other guy takes you to your happy place. If it’s at all different from the happy place your man takes you to, he’ll never forget that.

You wanna roll that dice, you go right ahead, girlie.

Me, I think you’re fucking mad — MAD, baby — to have a relationship that’s been going on for years, and then suddenly decide to bring a third party in. It’s as risky as all hell.

It’s different if the relationship began with extracurricular activities included in the package, but to do outside shopping a decade or so in? No matter how cool your hesitant partner pretends to be in the situation, the reality is, he’s probably wondering how long you’ve been bored with him, and whether this is the death knell for all you’ve shared, and whatever you tell him, it’s never really going to ring true. Some small seed of doubt’s always gonna linger.

If you want to take the games to a new level, then you’d both better be getting something out of the deal. Try swinging. You and he will both get a little somethin’-somethin’ on the side.

And if the notion of him getting sucked off by some sexy young thang makes you creepy-crawly and insecure inside, then you know you’re headed in the wrong direction. If you can’t allow him the same sexual mind-expansion as you’re wanting, then it ain’t right for either of you. Period.

Relationships more solid than yours have crumbled after antics like these. It’s a classic “be careful what you wish for” type situation. After all, if you go for the trinity, you may just go from sizzle-bang-bang to sizzle-fizz-fizz.

Email the Cunting Linguist if you have a burning question in need of an answer.

Comments

I agree with everything said here! It is true. As a man I know, and perhapes I am not much of a man because of it, that it would leave me wondering why I wasn't good enough if a thrid party was brought in (not just another man, I don't know that I could handle competeing with a woman either...I can't offer some of the things she can!) if it was not there from the begining. I don't think I would even be able to deal with adding swinging into the mix being monogomously involved with someone. The thought of them with another person would tear at me and I would just feel the sex with the other woman was a "consolation prize". A bone thrown to me so she could get it on with someone else because I wasn't enough. Am I insecure...yeah probably, but why shouldn't I be, I am obviously not enough. I am willing to do any NUMBER of things to keep things new and interesting, but bringing in SOMEONE new and interesting would probably make me feel like an old shoe. I think it is different if we have been having these kind of things from the begining. It is part of our identity as a couple. We both understand it isn't something new fill a void created by something lacking in our partner. It is just part of the way we keep things new and exciting and always has been. But to try to do it later, especially years later, I don't think I could do it. And there you have Jeregano's worthless 2 cents.

Posted by Jeregano on Oct 4 10:39AM

I don't think it has anything to do with you not being "enough of a man" to handle a third party being brought in. A LOT of us feel that way. Changing up the mix of a relationship opens up a lot of head games that can be played, and it's a dangerous step to make.

I don't think your two cents are worthless at all. Everything you've said is valid. Everything you've said applies to the majority of people. Probably more than a majority of people wouldn't be able to handle this kind of switch in a relationship.

The woman who initially asked this of me has decided she can't handle the thought of her man with a woman, so it's unfair to think he could handle the same of her.

Yeah... so, J, don't be so down on yourself. You're normal. Congratulations. Welcome to the club.

Posted by scribecalledsteff on Oct 4 09:41PM

Agree with both Steff and Jeregano here, for the most part. There's just no way to tell your boyfriend/husband that you want to fuck another guy and have it go over well, especially after years and years of monogamy. Just telling him you've even *thought* about it is bad enough. It would be one thing if you'd started out as swingers, but it doesn't sound like they had those leanings.

The only way I could see to approach this one is if she had some bi-sexual leanings, and wanted to explore that kind of three-some first. Then if that went well, they could start to explore other couples and actual swinging.

Otherwise, no friggin' way. I probably would've split as soon as she suggested it.

Posted by Jolly Roger on Oct 4 11:43PM

Wow. Great post, Cunning.

Posted by Charles on Oct 5 08:09AM

Whew, I am normal. Thank god!

Posted by Jeregano on Oct 5 09:49AM

Jolly -- I suspect I'd feel the same way, if a dude asked me something along those lines after a few months, let alone years. We're all allowed our fantasies, but there's a limit to what we should admit. Heh.

Charles -- Thanks.

J -- :)

Posted by scribecalledsteff on Oct 5 03:45PM

Good advice, but the key is getting him to open up about it. I had a foursome adventure with a newish girlfriend and two mutual friends. I wasn't in to it, and hence couldn't get hard and join in the fun. Ultimately, it put us both off the whole thing, but if we hadn't talked about it first, it definitely would have spelled the premature end of our relationship (still going strong years later). That is to say, so long as you're both being hyper-honest, expressing doubts and misgivings too, you might be able to navigate this unscathed. But I'm no Cunting.

Posted by Rich on Oct 6 10:39AM

She should forget about involving another man. Too much work! Another woman is a better idea. And both parties win.

Posted by Ariel on Oct 8 10:00PM

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