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A New York Escorts Confessions
Gettin’ Stiffed by the Stiffy
The Cunting Linguist says…
Here’s a conversation I had with a reader on my own site.
How do I get over the “5-minute” rule when it comes to doing it with someone for the first time?Whatcha mean by the 5-minute rule?
5-minute rule: All the dates before “the” date have been foreplay. I’m turned on beyond belief, so when we get to “the” moment, I can only last for 5 minutes. I can “reload” and “reset” fairly quickly and go back to my usual 30 minutes or so of long-lasting action… But it’s always very fast that first time!
Well, have you done the jack-off-before-date routine when you know you’ll be getting some? Is a cock ring out of the question?
That’s just it!!! I never know if I’ll be getting some… So should I just, ahem, service myself regardless? Just in case? Always be prepared? What am I? A boyscout?
A cock ring? Somehow I think this doesn’t have to do with rooster fighting in downtown Guadalajara…
I sometimes wonder if guys are given the short end of the shaft thanks to the fact that they reach their sexual peak in their late teens, but chicks don’t reach theirs for a decade or more after their first sexual experiences.
Most younger women live under the delusion that there’s “something wrong” with them, so they do everything they can to try and maximize their sexual experiences. For instance, women almost always know about the wonders of Kegel exercises.
What are Kegels? They’re an exercise through which the pelvic floor is strengthened and empowered. What does that have to do with sex? Better orgasms, kids. You have better control over that region of your body, and thus can prolong your experience before orgasming.
The problem is, a lot of guys don’t realize they can — and should — do these exercises, too. Like one resource on the web says, if you’re a guy with an erect penis, and you can’t squeeze your pelvic muscles and cause your dick to jump substantially, then you need to do these exercises — more than you know.
Guys often snicker and laugh at the notion of some men “lasting for hours” in bed. The rockstar Sting is known for his passion for Tantric sex and his claims that he can have sex “all night long.” Why guys snicker and laugh at this is beyond me, but I suspect it’s largely insecurity along the “that’ll never be me” kind of lines.
No, not without work, it won’t be. If guys were to do Kegel exercises regularly, the odds are good that their newly healthy, strong penis could have a towel hung over it when erect and still be able to little lifts and lowering at will.
So, Reader, first of all, do your exercises. Every single day. Second of all, learn that your “regular 30 minutes” isn’t really much to write home about either, but it’s unfortunately become the almost-accepted norm for men.
You can do better, and when you do, you’ll wonder how you ever managed to be complacent with the sex life you once had.
I was speaking with a man I know and he told me how yoga was “the best thing” he ever did for his sex life. I asked him if it was because of the stronger abdomen helping his erection, and he said yeah, that, but also because it taught him how to breathe right, and that did wonders for him.
In his late 30s, the man’s experiencing the best sex he’s ever had, all because he’s lost his inhibitions and learned how to control his body like he’s never done before. Through yoga he has learned to focus on his abdomenal muscles and their role in his ability to withhold his orgasm for hours. The breathing techniques he has learned have allowed him — with his partner — to slow down his breathing and thus find greater control over his bodily sensations.
And if all this sounds like too much, then I suggest taking the easy way out and jacking off before your dates. Even if you don’t get laid, at least you’ll be relaxed and more willing to let the evening happen naturally, rather than being concerned about getting yours.
Finally, there’s always the option of a cock ring. There are important considerations when choosing a cock ring for yourself, particularly in regards to size. Too small and it could really cause you problems, and may get stuck on your cock. Not good. Too large and it’ll do nothing. The safest way to go is a strap-on cock ring, since you can adjust the tension in case you’re unsure how tight to go, and sensation is your best guiding force. You can even get cock rings that have a vibe attached to really give your partner her bang for your buck, too. But if you’re a man on a budget and you still want to have that upscale ride, then visit your local hardware store and buy a few little rubber seals/gaskets and see which works best for you, at a fraction of the cost.
But what does a cock ring do, you ask? It traps blood in your cock and makes your erection both larger and last longer. When you finally do come, it’s a more explosive orgasm, so to speak, since the blood has made the orgasm more difficult and lengthy to achieve, thus heightening your end experience.
The “first time” you do it with a chick will probably always leave a little to be desired compared to your regular endurance ability, but maybe it’s time to up the ante all the way around. A little extra dedication to your dick will help you become the man of your dreams — and hers.
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confessionsComments
Yes that should be a mandatory lesson in health class.
We all deserve to be having the best sex possible.
Posted by J-Mo on Sep 29 01:19PMgoooo kegals! :P
i have been blessed with a boyfriend who can last longer then i can nine times out of ten. <3
Yeah, Kegels! I *so* learned those when I was in my late 20s early 30s.
I'm in my mid 30s now and proud to say that 1 hour is my _minimum_. My girlfriend is close to 10 years younger than I am and happily I can more than keep up with her and her voracious sexual appetite.
I had benefactor/partner who was 67 when we met and had a high prostate count. I was a Tantra teacher and told him about the benefits of doing Kegels and other exercises. At first, being a very conservative Republican cattle rancher, he balked. But when I told him that they could help his count, he decided to give them a try instead of being poked and prodded by needles.
Not only did his prostate count go way down, he is now multiorgasmic, having 4-8 orgasms over the course of a three to four hours before ejaculating (and yes, guys, orgasm and ejaculation are separate physiological functions). As of a few months ago at age 75 when we parted company, he still functioned that way.
So guys...go for it. Check out Tantra and Mantuk Chia's books. This stuff can be good for those with both ends of the "cuming challenges" department. Yup, it is way woowoo but if it works then what is your resistance? And, ladies..the benefits to you are well worth introducing them to your partner.
Posted by Gillette on Sep 29 08:49PMSound advice as usual, Steff. I'm more sanguine about the whole five-minute rule thing, unless you're one of those guys who loses interest or falls asleep after. It's important to be *aware* of it, but it's equally important not to be concerned as long as you're willing and able to a) continue foreplay (does anyone you know object to 30 minutes of additional foreplay?) and b) eventually get back up and go for another, more extended round.
My first giant clue, by the way, came from a partner who enjoyed the opportunity to revive me. The second giant clue came from a partner who thought it was stupid that I thought I had to be the one who was responsible for everything that happened during sex. My third big clue came from an older couple I know who, when the man was given medication that made it difficult for him to get it up, his partner's interest in sex perked up substantially.
That last part's pretty significant, by the way. I'd call them a fairly traditional couple who, for the previous ten or fifteen years had probably had sex maybe once a month (her schedule, not his) and I'm pretty sure she did the traditional thing and let him take the lead. Once his "problems" began, and she actually had something to do, she became considerably more interested.
---
As for a first time? I dunno. First times are weird since often you're trying to meet all kinds of expectations anyway and chances are both you and your partner are going to be a bit stressed if things don't go by the book. (They often don't but we still get stressed, eh?) I say go ahead and whack off before. It certainly (literally) won't hurt. :-) And when the time comes to not come it might help.
---
Back to you, Steff, I really appreciate the yoga/breathing/core-strength pointers, and your cock-ring suggestions are intriguing. Thanks!
Posted by figleaf on Sep 30 03:19AMI've been a practioner of Kegel exercises since I was 16 and a student of Tantra since around 25. I will attest that it has made and my partners' sex lives more enjoyable in more ways than I can count.
I'm intrigued by the idea of yoga helping, though it makes pergect sense. It looks like I have something new to study!
Posted by Andy on Sep 30 09:34AMThe odd thing is that as much as I hear women discuss/complain about men's inability to last long enough, I have received as many complaints from partners who wish I didn't last as long as I do.
I wouldn't have thought I'd hear a woman complain about a guy lasting an hour or more.
I have frequently been proven wrong.
A double-edged sword, pardon the pun.
Posted by K on Oct 1 04:16PMGreat answer!
Hey, I like your blog. Do you want exchange blog links. My humor blog is www.billsbitterpills.blogspot.com.
Let me know.
Posted by Bill Hicks on Oct 29 09:49AMPost a Comment
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about me
So why am I writing this blog? I have an inner exhibitionist that just needs to be let out. I've always wanted to bare myself completely in front of strangers but have always been held back by fear.
As strange as it may sound, I've never really truly bared myself in front of any of my clients. For all that they've seen, they've never seen me be me. And for all that I've seen, I simply need to share it with you!
So why should you come? To be tantalized and teased. To get release by knowing the true me.
I promise that I won't bite, and if I do bite, I'll make sure you like it!
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Great post. This should be taught in school.
One of my good friends ex-girlfriend recently trashed his reputation, exposing their sex life.
MJ
Posted by Mark on Sep 29 07:50AM