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A New York Escorts Confessions
Do-nut Ask. Do-nut Tell.
Today I set my sights on finding a donut. No not that kind of donut. (Although now that we’re on the subject, any of you have a good recommendation for donuts in the city? I suddenly have a hankering. I can tell you there’s a booth at the Sunday 77th St. flea market on Columbus that has THE BEST cider doughnuts in the fall — powdered sugar and all. But since it’s not Sunday — anyone, anyone, anyone? And don’t say Krispy Kreme. I’m looking for the good stuff)
By donut, I’m referring to a donut pillow which looks like exactly what it sounds like — imagine a big oversized lifesaver to plant your butt on. Apparently this is what they recommend for women who have just given birth. Or have taken a ride on a souped-up juicer. Ow. Don’t make me laugh.
The question was, though, where exactly does one go to find a donut pillow? Barneys doesn’t have one (okay that was a stretch, but the new fall collections are out!), Laytner’s Linens didn’t have them. I passed a surgical supply store, but somehow the thought of buying something among the wheelchairs, catheters, and IVs seemed even more pathetic than I felt. And then, at W 71st Street I stopped. There was a sign for, I kid you not, The Upper Breast Side.
Now here we are in New York, one of the world’s most book smart cities. Don’t you think there should be some kind of literary police protecting us against bad puns like these? I mean really, that’s just awful! But, I was kind of intrigued. So I entered.
Turns out The UBS is a store for pregnant and post-partum women to get all their boob supplies. Breast pumps and nipple ointment and Bust Buddies?! Oh my! But it was the plain ole’ nursing bras that really stopped me cold. They were BIG. Really really big. Just out of curiosity I asked. Their sizes go up to — gulp — 42K! And we are talking about pregnancy-induced natural knockers here! Saline free.
Does that turn any of you on? Milk-engorged real breast flesh? Does it make you want to line up and squeeze for a glassful?
Me, I left in a cold sweat. I like my perky B cups just fine thank you. 42K! That’s a couple of months on the job not a bra size.
And as for the donut pillow… Well, it looks like one of my bed pillows is going under the knife…
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confessionsComments
best donut in the city is available @ Dough Nut Plant @ 379 Grand Street (between Essex & Norfolk Streets)
Posted by Tasha on Sep 14 09:40PMSorry, no recommendations but hope the ride on the juicer was worth it now that you have to sit on a donut. If the same client repeats and make you sit on any other appliances, don't forget to charge him extra for medical fee.
Posted by Pete from Cal on Sep 14 10:54PMWhat you're looking for is commonly called a hemorrhoid pillow or donut cushion.
http://www.buttpillow.com
http://tinyurl.com/astap
http://www.devinemedical.us/donutcushions1.html
http://egeneralmedical.com/donutcushion.html
Good luck!
42k...couple months on your job maybe...haha. but artists are supposed to be starving, right? it's a comforting thought. even though i'm not an artist.
Posted by j on Sep 15 02:56AMdonut plant is sick! but i like magnolia for the cupcakes - they use so much sugar i'm bouncing off the walls after 2 of them.
Posted by machiavelli on Sep 15 03:27PMdonut pillows can be found if you poke around the old-age section of a pharmacy. don't know the names of big chains in the u.s. i banged up my coccyx quite badly a few years ago and refused to look as geriatric as i felt and just got through it sans pillow.
Posted by wyn on Sep 16 10:40AMThe Doughnut Plant .......lower East side. Check out the hot chocolate with the doughnuts.....that is really good stuff.
Here is their site: www.doughnutplant.com . Enjoy!
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about me
So why am I writing this blog? I have an inner exhibitionist that just needs to be let out. I've always wanted to bare myself completely in front of strangers but have always been held back by fear.
As strange as it may sound, I've never really truly bared myself in front of any of my clients. For all that they've seen, they've never seen me be me. And for all that I've seen, I simply need to share it with you!
So why should you come? To be tantalized and teased. To get release by knowing the true me.
I promise that I won't bite, and if I do bite, I'll make sure you like it!
my favorite posts
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- Poops!... I Did It Again!
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- Daddy's Little Girl (Part II)
- Selling Out (Part III)
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Donut pillows come from pharmacists. Call Keihls maybe?
Posted by Noor on Sep 14 08:13PM