Hmm, interesting to hear the other side of it. I used to use escorts and my logic was similar - that I was paying NOT to have a relationship that could ruin my marriage. However, I am VERY clear that my wife wouldn't see it in the same way...

check out my (warped) take on the morals of it...

Sorry, link didn't work...

My views were in the folloing post...
http://moneyfactory.blogspot.com/2004/09/escorts-new-fidelity.html

Facts remain facts whether we understand them or not and leaving vs. an arranged short-term experience are two VERY different things. The service you provide is incredibly valuable and necessary to society.

-G

Somehow reading these,cause me lose some faith in marriage.
But you write well.

9 out 10 of my clients are married !

you should lose convidence dude, i have had both the woman and the man, and they didn't even know it about each other. lol.

fools in love, most marriages THAT LAST, are the ones where you can visit other people without problems, all the rest just ends up alone.

take the advice from a REAL escorte.

btw : this nyhotties is fake ;-) sorry to melt up your dream, but she is not real, it is imaginary, how I know, several reasons...

could explain but the comment would be longer than the post, just visit my site, and read the differences, I have each day a client, and write about it, she just fantasises about

people and money but probably a poor wannabee that once got abducted by rapists instead of aliens LOL

how was the dog ?? each hooker will take the 10.000$ for a dog fuck, fool, thatz 1 of the 1001 reasons why she is not REAL !

just waiting for the opinions and reactions,

I think, while growing up, everyone is taught to believe in the "storybook ending," with the happily ever after theme. And I must admit, that I too have been a victim of that thinking.

But as my definition of the word "love" has evolved, and I think it will evolve even more in the future, I have realized that you can't be everything. Even within a relationship, there are certain needs your lover can't provide you with. But these actions of "adultery" are deemed immoral mostly by religious institutions and human laws. And I find this to be quite interesting since both impose their beliefs upon others.

Although I can't all together tell you where I stand on a subject like this, I can tell you, that I can understand how you would be able to help your clients. There's an implicit understanding that you're only there to satisfy their physical wants, and NOT their emotional needs.

Your goal is not to break up marriages, but I guess if you think about it, to keep them together.

Let's not go overboard here. A hooker's job is to keep marriages together? The opprobrium surrounding prostitution is all a religous function? Please. I have no doubt that there are plenty of agnostic or atheist women who upon learning that their husband was with an escort in Park City or Las Vegas or Miami or the upper East Side would be deeply hurt. I doubt that a woman who feels that way is simply a "victim" of society's mores. She would not need to be told that if religion was less oppressive, or society was less uptight, hey, you wouldn't have to worry about his extra-curricular activities. A fission in the marriage that would be irreparable could easily develop, and that's not society's fault, or her fault for not being more "open."
I have to say Alexa did a give a fairly good defense against the hypocrisy charge. But at the end of the day, she's still a hooker, and it's a joke to think that what she's doing is strengthening anything except the fantasies of her readership (me included) and her wallet. I may be reading, I may be fantasizing, but I'm not delusional about what we're dealing with here.

ALEXA,

YOU ARE NOT A HYPOCRITE. YOU ARE PROVIDING A SERVICE,NOTHING MORE, NOTHING LESS. TO BLAME YOU FOR BREAKING UP A MARRIAGE IS LIKE BLAMING A BARTENDER FOR SERVING DRINKS TO A CLIENT WITH A DRINKING PROBLEM. THE GUY IS GOING TO LOOK FOR SEX SOMEWHERE, SO WHY NOT WITH YOU. YOU HE GETS WHAT HE WANTS AND YOU GET PAID.
P.S. I LOVE YOUR BLOG.

soo...that explains alot...escort'izing is all about fooling onself in beliving that you really have a gf, or wife, who can do things/ give things you want, unconditionally.

but arnt relationships all abt imotional bonding & commitment? is marriage such a shallow thing that getting the sex thing right, actually preserves it...in the long run

To be Frank (someone else can be Jessie), Alexa, I don't have much of a problem with you servicing this Eric (or any other married guy or girl). A married guy comes to you, you don't come to him. I don't see it as you playing a role in breaking up a married couple. They're making a conscious, voluntary choice whether or not they want to pay you for your escort services. It's not like you're seducing some random married guy as part of an insidious plot you cooked up to break up him and his wife. ;) You're just there to provide them with a temporary escape from reality (and to put money in your pocketbook, of course).

Am I making any sense here, peoples?

Me!

Hi, hope you don't mind but I linked you on my blog. I just sat here and read yours from the beginning! Your stories are hilarious... :)

Off topic:
After all this time, Alexa, do you remember how you first learned about my blog? Knowing this could help me attract more readers.

thanks for that explanation Alexa, I understand your POV now. :) Glad to see that you didnt get hurt with that avalanche.

I can certainly see the whole "release valve" argument, although I think it would be much better for these marriages if the couple sat down and had an honest discussion about sexual needs that weren't being met. I suppose problems would arise if what one partner wanted was revolting to the other... but then again a truly loving relationship should involve a willingness to sacrifice from both parties.

I don't have a problem with pre/post-marital sex... but once you've promised to be faithful to one partner (mutually agreed upon open marriages are another story), that's a promise you should keep. Of course, it's the guys here who are breaking this trust, not you, Alexa.

alexa, as a married man ,ive come to the crossroads of life as there is no sex in my marriage ,we have discussed it , ive tried and she has resorted to not trying to have sex at all. its been a long time, almost 3 yrs. , ive had to resortto either massage parlor activities, or my new gig is seeking escorts such as you. you save us men in these predicaments and i look forward to having the pleasure of having you 1 day if possible, please accept my invitation as a courteous 1. , bill

The key thing is, dad left. That's the part that matters. Not that he cheated.

People have sex. They stray. They cheat. Not everyone, sure, but commitment is about being there for the long haul, being part of the entity called family.

But commitment and family does not mean getting everything forever in the same place. You don't eat at home every meal for the rest of your life just because your spouse cooks. Sometimes you go out, sometimes alone.

Monogamy is a societal conceit. I don't believe we evolved for it; I don't believe it's inherently our natural state as humans.

When I swore an oath to my partner, it was an oath to be there, love, honor, cherish, support, care for. It didn't include any forsaking all others crap.

It's a shame many people have to go outside secretly; but sometimes it's the only choice one can make and keep from going insane.

Alexa, you and those other sex workers who do what you do, you're there doing good and important work. Carry on. Only, come carry on in my neighborhood one of these days. B^)

An Escort, A hooker, a prostitute doesn't break one's marriage up...
If anything finding a girl another way..in bars, personals can do that much quicker
I myself use escorts it is simple, easy to arrange, you know your going to get a nice hour or two of companionship ...doing the bar scene can cost much more in the long run and you go home unfulfilled...

Why do I see an escort...simply cause my wife is ill, and no longer can perform...so I take much less time away from my family...I really know nothing is going to come of it...except some real fun hot times

You said: "Vows of fidelity no longer mean what they used to mean. Nor, do I think, did they ever mean what they should have meant."

I think vows of fidelity are still very meaningful to those of us who practice it. As far as what they *should* have meant...well, it is a concept. An idealistic one, perhaps. But still something many people strive to achieve. Something we believe in and think is beautiful. Like world peace; will it ever happen? Probably not. Is it wrong to strive for that? I don't think so.

I think we all need to strive for the best we can do, even if sometimes we fail.

Fidelity is a choice. Like religion. Or politics. You choose to stay true to your belief or you do not. But for the people who choose to believe in traditional marriage, our vows are still very precious and meaningful indeed.

It may be that, as a cop sees only the seamy side of so many human beings, you, by virtue of your job, see more than your fair share of infidelity.

Fidelity is still real. It still exists. :-)

We're just not talked about much since happily married couples such as myself and my circle of friends is hardly the type of titillating and sensational gossip adultery is. :-)

You are really no better than the woman your father had, the only difference is the timeframe.
Since your dad "gave all of his money and possesions" to this secretary, and she got many of his assets in the divorce, it seems she was just an escort on a very extended "date"
Whether you are with them for an hour or a year, it's all prostitution if you are exchanging goods or cash for sex or companionship, and it's all adultery if one or both of the parties is married. The vows state "forsaking all others" not "forsaking all others unless you want to do freaky things to a hooker"

Alexa,

I am a new reader to your often funny and intelligent blog. I have no issues that you are an escort, although I would beg to differ that in the long run you should be in another line of work, but since it's your life who am I to give advice.

I have to comment on this post. I do not possess a Psychology degree, but it’s blatantly evident that you are NOT over your Father's indiscretions. The way you jab at the "Secretary" and even mention her lack of boobs are dead give a ways. In the big picture of things, what does the size of her breasts have anything to do with his infidelity? That is cattiness and bitterness on your behalf, plain and simple.

I imagine that there is no "right or wrong" to this topic, but I cannot agree with your explanation in trying to justify that you take no part in potentially breaking up marriages. You may not be a "girlfriend" per se, but you are still a woman that a man will visit (potentially multiple times) and thus would cause serious grief to the unsuspecting wife. I do not know if you are married, but I am assuming that you are not. If you were, I seriously doubt that you would be "okay" with your husband going behind your back having sex with various women (and I am sure some do not take safe sex precautions thus further endangering the unsuspecting wife).

I would have more respect for you if you simply owned up to what is truth. You ARE a tool for men to go to, to be unfaithful to their wives. To not show sympathy and further "justify" that you are an outlet for men to actually (potentially) further strengthen their marriage is just plain ludicrous.

Reading the comments from the MEN (of course) saying that it's "okay" is just another typical statistical response. Having their cake and eating it too. Although, it was refreshing to read several men voice the same concerns that I am, GOOD FOR THEM.

Bottom line, DO NOT GET MARRIED IF YOU ARE GOING TO CHEAT! Stay single. Or, if you think you absolutely are going to, get your ass into counseling and communicate with your partner. You might even be surprised as to what your partner has to say, or what they want to do to spice up the sex life.

I truly enjoy your blog for its entertainment value, not intending to rip you a new one, just trying to voice an opinion for you to seriously think about. If your values/opinions stay the same so be it.

Best wishes,
Bliss

more power to you...sending best wishes!

I cheated on my husband about 3 years ago. At the time, our marriage was totally on the rocks, and our sex life had been non-existent for two years. The opportunity presented itself while I was traveling out of town on business, and after thinking about it one entire sleepless night, I went for it.

I would never tell my husband, but he has reaped the benefits of it a hundredfold. I rediscovered something that I lost having kids and being subsumed in mommy/corporate world.

The sex was great, and I was able to take that back home with me and use it to provide me with an incentive to recharge my own marriage.

I didn't really want to be divorced, nor did I want to be with someone else. I wanted to have fabulous sex with my own husband. If anything, that experience taught me that I was still a sexy, desirable woman that men wanted, and reminded me of what i was missing out on.

I hope my husband never finds out, and I doubt he ever will.

This probably makes me sound like a terrible person, an unfaithful betraying wife. But when it comes down to it, sex is only sex. Marriage is in the staying there.

I've never cheated since, and I've never really been tempted to.