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A New York Escorts Confessions

Carnival of Sin #6

My favorite post from this week’s Carnival is “Double Bed” by Jay (Entry #11). Jay writes a cute short story about an experience that he’d like to have with bed delivery men. You can imagine what happened… Or you can just go and read his story.

Next Carnival of Sin will be on Monday, January 3. I’m taking a break from the Carnival for Christmas. Submit your entries here.

Entry #1 — 12/15/04 (really I just date them)
12/15/04 (really I just date them) by Wesley Wardlaw

things I discovered this year dealing with restrictive internet up at school, so if you happen to be having these sorts of problems, meaning you’re in college and they’ve shut down all the wonderful services the internet offers, here’s a few tidbits.

Entry #2 — I Was A Teenage Sasquatch Hunter!
I Was A Teenage Sasquatch Hunter! by Johnny Landotter

Hear actual sasquatch vocalisations recorded in Puyallup, Washington in 1976! Listen to Barks make a completely spontaneous mushroom joke! Learn the secret name that’s on the Landotter’s birth certificate! Amazing and true! Piles of fun!

Entry #3 — Morning Blessings
Morning Blessings by Sean Wilson

I mutter a quick, “hello,” you’re walking past, east. We see each other every morning; this is nothing special to you; you nod your head, and then turn back, ahead, no longer looking through the glass window between us.

Entry #4 — Anatomy of my Orgasm
Anatomy of my Orgasm by Red

I guess I don’t remember discovering my clitoris, but I do remember finally figuring out how to masturbate. I was 16; I used a slow steady stream of hot water from the bathtub. Giddy’up.

Entry #5 — Conversations with clerks volume 2
Conversations with clerks volume 2 by Jess

My wife has been pretty lax about getting a hold of me, she does not write, she does not call,

Entry #6 — The spirit of Christmas!
The spirit of Christmas! by Kerastasi

In the truly festive spirit of giving (to your allies) and recieving (US military aid), the Israeli government has asked for: ‘2,500 MK-84 live bombs — a general purpose 2000 lb. bomb

Entry #7 — Guilty Pleasure
Guilty Pleasure by Halden Johnson

I have a confession. I derive much pleasure from owning Garden Gnomes. I know it isn’t the most politically correct thing. There are organizations out there that would like to see Gnome owners like myslef punished but I can’t help it.

Entry #8 — Pee Wee Pervert
Pee Wee Pervert by Matt Ambrose

…As I unfurled the Johnson I noticed my oh so carefully selected neighbor staring in my direction and distinctly southward…

Entry #9 — Mr. Ladys
Mr. Ladys by Toni

I suppose it’s not uncommon for foreigners to get hit on in Japan, especially the Caucasian ones…However, my friend and fellow eikaiwa teacher had a slightly different experience.

Entry #10 — Anniversary. A post in two parts.
Anniversary. A post in two parts. by Thérèse

Part I. Discovery. She: You asleep? Me [asleep]: Mhm. She: Good. Look at me. Me: Mmmno. She: I was hoping… only one pair will look fant… Me: No. She: But they’re perfect! Me: Forget it. She left in a huff. I got up, later. Downstairs, I noticed that my Tango Shoes Were Not. There.

Entry #11 — Double Bed
Double Bed by Jay

My new bed was delivered on Saturday, an early Christmas present from NM. It’s a very nice double, with a wooden headboard and everything, but the delivery itself gave new meaning to the word ‘service’.

Entry #12 — Summer Lovin’ Parts 1 & 2
Summer Lovin’ Parts 1 & 2 by Kim

She gasps as she feels the icy cherry popsicle circle her nipple and it instantly hardens to a tight peak.

Entry #13 — Conversations With St. Nick
Conversations With St. Nick by zander

Zander: seriously, are you flirting with me? SantaClaus: Well that’s hard to say. Ask an elf Zander: i knew you had a midget fetish or something, why don’t you just admit you’re a fat perv?

Entry #14 — Gandhi VS Bush
Gandhi VS Bush by Kevin (Wotak) Towell

According to the all mighty modern christian ethic, one of the worlds greatest, most christ like teachers of all time… is in hell being burned for eternity.

Entry #15 — Something for all you gun control advocates to think about… . .
Something for all you gun control advocates to think about… . . by Jeremy

The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind them of this history lesson. “With guns, we are citizens. Without them, we are subjects.”

Entry #16 — The Bronzed Aussie
The Bronzed Aussie by Johnny the Horse

I have said before that the reality show genre holds no place in my inner TV guide. But as I changed between the myriad of American cop shows I happened upon “Outback Jack”.

Entry #17 — Battlefield Earth
Battlefield Earth by Mark Blei

One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to sit in the seat of power in the oval office and in Congress.

Entry #18 — Celebrity Blog Entry
Celebrity Blog Entry by Jenny

So I have a website now? And a blog. From what I was told, it’s an online journal/diary. Nice. I think I’ll enjoy this.

Entry #19 — my first…i think…shit…ah, let’s just pretend.
my first…i think…shit…ah, let’s just pretend. by maleslut35

“suck that cock, slut…milk it…” she sucks my cock…gags…looks up, with that sexy, ooops look. I am cumming… “here it comes baby…here comes what you want…what you are hungry for” and i shot a big load down her throat…

Entry #20 — Dutch Wife for hire
Dutch Wife for hire by Lee

Back in April I mentioned the advancements in Japanese blow up doll technology, and that rather amusingly such devices go by the name of Dutch Wives. But such lifelike silicon beauty comes at a cost

Entry #21 — Pick Me! Pick Me!
Pick Me! Pick Me! by Peat

I got nothin’ that can top the real blogging that goes on at “A New York Escorts (not Escort’s) Confessions” but I do have cool bus pictures and I keep track of unfortunate penis related news.

Entry #22 — In My Dream
In My Dream by Silentwordz

Everything is soft. The air. Your voice. The smell of the stillness. I don’t want to shatter it again. Let’s keep it like this.

Entry #23 — fudge: the new nicotine-patch
fudge: the new nicotine-patch by grepcomputers

If you are going to swear, swear. If swearing offends you, then don’t do it; stop using “fudge”, or whatever word you have chosen, to pretend you aren’t. (What, is it the innapropriate-language form of the nicotine-patch?)

Entry #24 — Fat Cun Chick
Fat Cun Chick by Casey Shanks

What I have not seen, is a “fat cun guy”. I have seen fat blokes with pretty thin-slim girls, and most of the time, the fat bloke look rather un-presentable. Before the fat community throws me any liposuction-fat-bags, please hear me out.

Entry #25 — Funny Quickie
Funny Quickie by zurielle

So yesterday Chad wanted to watch the newest porn we had received in the mail. I hate it when he does this at lunch because it gets me a little excited and I always want to take a longer lunch — if ya know what I mean.

Entry #26 — Ever Heard Of A Tuna Melt?
Ever Heard Of A Tuna Melt? by Nikki

Emily — You’re Puerto Rican right? Me — ::slowly:: Yes… Emily — You wanna know how I knew? Me — How?…

Entry #27 — Story Day
Story Day by SJ

I announced to Roommate #1 that on that night, this bartender would be going home with me. I had no idea what was about to occur.

Entry #28 — I am — on my period
I am — on my period by Jesus Martinez

When your woman tells you that she can’t have sex because it is that time of the month, punch her in the face and say “bitch, it’s always time to fuck in my world…

Entry #29 — Movie Review: Closer
Movie Review: Closer by Nina Scaletti

“Julia Roberts has a mouth that would swallow the QM2 if it just so happened to be Jude Law’s dick. (That alone is going to get some interesting Googles.)”

Entry #30 — Deep Shaft, Chapter 10
Deep Shaft, Chapter 10 by Dan Torchia

Mark DeCicco, the protagonist in our story, decides to take on the region’s most powerful politician and investigate the connection between him and his family.

Entry #31 — Parody of Blogs (Episode 1)
Parody of Blogs (Episode 1) by Mad House Madman

“Cardiac complications? No waaayyyyl, look at these charts” she said as she bent forward, revealing a small morsel of her delicious bottom. Our morning began well and the team was in good spirits.

Entry #32 — The bed and breakfast
The bed and breakfast by Ricardo and Dragongirl

She spreads her legs slightly to expose her sex to me. I can see the delicate pink folds waiting for me. Even after the train ride I want more of her. I place a quick love bite on her right cheek.

Entry #33 — Of Queens And Things
Of Queens And Things by David Tellez

The guy next to me goes, “Oh yes…yes…Colin please, please, fuck his mangina and make that boy feel like a real man…fuck his boy pussy!” OMG! OK…mangina? Boy pussy? WTF?!

Entry #34 — I am a suspected terrorist
I am a suspected terrorist by mark reed

Andy dares me to wear a balaclava so that we can pose by the service station for photos. I haven’t got that photo. It would be both immensely embarassing and incredulous. We go inside to make phone calls to check if Jim’s Dead.

Entry #35 — Every Cause for Every Occasion
Every Cause for Every Occasion by Evan Ames

Here’s a tip. The next time you have a brilliant idea. Write it down on a piece of paper, then have a mentally disturbed child beat you repeatevly in the head with a louisville slugger.

Entry #36 — Fancy bagging yourself some “Bangkok”
Fancy bagging yourself some “Bangkok” by Mark

Why is it that these beautiful women want to marry a man from an entirely different culture, and live in a country that is thousands of miles away from their own?

Entry #37 — He believes in beauty
He believes in beauty by Katherine

I’ve read it now, and although I’m not a drug-taking transsexual, bisexual prostitute, I can identify with some of the things written about Orkney.

Entry #38 — Being Lazy Is An Art Form
Being Lazy Is An Art Form by Elizabeth Sheryl

Joggers and people who actually get up extra early to exercise…I just don’t understand. More power to you though, I’d rather watch E! True Hollywood Story of The Real Word (oh that puck…) and eat Wheat Thins.

Entry #39 — NSM’s 20 (damned sexy!) questions…
NSM’s 20 (damned sexy!) questions… by laura at iburnforyou

11) Have you ever masturbated in public, where you could have been easily seen (ie. in a public pool, sitting on a park bench, etc)? ANSWER: yes … i’ve even done it while driving a convertible (truckers love that).

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licked by alexa on Dec 20, 2004

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about me

I'm a twenty-something New York escort. I love Prada, Seven jeans, and Jimmy Choos. I'm also totally addicted to Starbucks' grande non-fat white mocha and working out.

So why am I writing this blog? I have an inner exhibitionist that just needs to be let out. I've always wanted to bare myself completely in front of strangers but have always been held back by fear.

As strange as it may sound, I've never really truly bared myself in front of any of my clients. For all that they've seen, they've never seen me be me. And for all that I've seen, I simply need to share it with you!

So why should you come? To be tantalized and teased. To get release by knowing the true me.

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