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A New York Escorts Confessions

December 2004

Cleanliness Cums Before Godliness

“Tyler, go upstairs and take a bath now.”

“No.”

“Tyler, please take a bath. Don’t you want to make Mommy happy by being all clean and fresh?”

“I don’t want to.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“Tyler, you go up this very instant and take a shower or I swear that Mommy’s going to slap you silly!”

So Jennifer, my sister-in-law, didn’t really say that last sentence, but what is it with boys and showers? Based on Tyler’s reaction, you’d think that Jennifer had asked him to go on some kind of death march. The fact that clean is good seemed to escape him.

Many men I’ve slept with share Tyler’s aversion to showers. It’s not that they don’t want to be clean, but most men just don’t seem to know that their nether regions can become quite ripe with sweat and funk throughout the day.

One particular man gagged me with his stench. Ordinarily, I’d just try to breathe through my mouth rather than my nose, but doing so becomes much more difficult when you’re sucking on a stiff cock. Of course, seeing the skid marks on his tighty not-so-whitey briefs when I came up for air didn’t help matters either. Ironically, Mr. Clueless was happy because he thought that his cock was too big for me to handle. Who would have thought that such a beautiful man could be so unaware of his own personal cleanliness? God knows he spends enough time on his appearance.

After that experience, I started asking every man I’m about to sleep with to take a shower first. This new policy was met with mixed results. Some got insulted. Others went into the shower but didn’t come out much cleaner. They’d simply let the warm water run over their body without using soap.

Now, I just ask men to take a shower with me first and personally scrub their equipment with soap and warm water. Talk about a win-win situation…


Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays everyone! I’m going to McLean, VA to spend Christmas through New Years with my mom, brother and his family. I’ll be posting from Virginia next week.

In the meantime, though, watch this very amusing Christmas video. Just click on the image to the right to see it.


Mile High Holidays

Thanks to the folks who brought us Make Love Not War I have been road testing my new favorite toys — the Mile High Kit and its little cousin the mini.

After I picked up on the Donkey Love video, and prayed for the Bush man to get some back door love, the Mile High company contacted me and as a thank you mailed me one of their terrific erotic travel companions.

I couldn’t wait to renew my membership for love in the sky — the fond memories of Miami. So I’ve used the little vibrator and lube more than a few times!

Believe me, a girls like me needs a few of these — Ive been giving the mini kits to my party gals and the pocket rocket is getting rave reviews.

The company sent me this 30% off coupon to a pass along to my readers. Though I normally don’t discuss product, this brand is close to my heart… and my legs. Super great gift for the season — give her a Mile High Mini.

By the way, do any of you girls (or boys) have good vibrator stories? Enquiring minds want to know! :)

———————

Dear Alexa,

Happy Holidays from the Mile High Crew

This year is the first holiday season for the Mile High line of products. If you haven’t heard, our Mile High Kits are playful and discrete erotic travel kits that make great gifts for friends, lovers, co-workers or clients—anyone you know who might want to do more than just kiss beneath the mistletoe. They come in two sizes, so no stocking is too large or too small.

In thanks for all the support you have provided over the last year, we would like to offer you the opportunity to purchase our products at 30% off their regular retail price. Please click on the link below to find the perfect present for anyone you know who deserves something out of the ordinary: http://www.milehighkit.com/holiday_friends.php

Please feel free to forward this e-mail to your favorite gift givers and have a wonderful holiday season.

Regards,
Ted Youngs


Reality Blogging

More than a few people have expressed doubts as to whether I am real or not, and these expressions have ranged between the humorous and the hateful. One reader went so far as to suggest that I’m actually a 300lb man in some office in Nebraska. Although I understand why some people may doubt, I usually don’t spend much energy responding to these comments. Why bother?

Recently, W, a doubting reader, expressed his doubts in such a thoughtful manner that it deserved a real response. So here is our conversation.

Real or not real? You be the judge.

—————————————-
W’s original comment on one of my posts:

Wait a second. How do you get a letter from a reader when you don’t make your e-mail address public? Something is rotten in Denmark, it seems to me …

—————————————-
My initial response to W:

lol. lobster, the answer to your conundrum lies in the “let’s exchange links” link on the left side. click on it and tell me what you see. :)

xoxo,
alexa

—————————————-
email from W to me:

alexa,

you’ll have to forgive me for that little outburst. it’s just that i’ve long suspected that your writings — especially the part about being an escort — are largely or completely fictional, and i thought that i had finally found a glaring inconsistency that could not be explained away.

now, it seems that i will have to go back to my former uncertainty.

well, at least i got to sneak in that shakespeare reference :)

-w

—————————————-
email from me to W:

hi w,

don’t worry. i didn’t mind it. as a former english major, i actually found your shakespeare reference amusing. :)

my posts are about 95+% true — sometimes i might embellish a detail or two for the sake of enhancing the story. but all the encounters actually happen.

if i may ask, what makes you doubt me? some people have been virulent in their belief that i’m fake such as one reader who thought i was a 300lb. man in nebraska. lol. also, if you doubt, why do you keep reading?

i’m not asking because i’m mad. i’m asking because i’m just curious and am genuinely perplexed. (you know, the funny thing is that most of my stories aren’t even about my work.)

-a

—————————————-
email from W to me:

hi alexa,

in regard to what makes me doubt you — well, first, isn’t it just a little ironic and funny that i should find myself explaining my doubts to the very person whom i doubt? what power is it that you have over me that i should be so willing, and even eager, to lay these things out on the table for you?

i think chiefly it’s that the grittiness and sordidness of life that i imagine to be omnipresent in an escort’s world are notably absent from your blog. let me expand on that. it seems to me that in seeing clients, even if they are of an affluent or upscale type, you would be faced on a regular basis with some fairly dark and alarming aspects of the human psyche. i suspect that the dashed dreams, hopes, fears, insecurities, desires and requests of your clients would often be highly psychopathological or at least wild and strange. i think that an escort would be exposed to dark parts of the human psyche most people don’t even know exist.

yet none of this darkness seems to come through on your blog. or when you do encounter some dark or strange aspect of the human psyche — when, for example, a client requests a golden or brown shower — you react as though you’re surprised, as though you’ve never encountered this kind of thing before. (see my comment in response to your oct. 6th post.)

i read your blog for the combination of prurience and good writing. i like to daydream that a girl like you actually exists as described in the blog, even if the evidence is inconclusive. and there is maybe a little of my own psychopathology that enters into the mix: i’m basically just a shy socially reserved dork who looks with wonder and envy on your adventurous sexual escapades, the likes of which i have never personally experienced. the world you describe is, to me, like a kind of dream-life, a valhalla in new york city.

-w

—————————————-
my final answer:

hi w,

thank you for your thoughtful email. you’re not the first person to say that I cast too positive a light on the world of escorting.

fortunately, the grittiness and sordidness that you mention doesn’t really exist much of the time. most of the men who see me are simply in search of intimacy without the commitment. to them, seeing me is just like going on an expensive date with an attractive woman.

the only thing is that i’m always ready to fulfill almost any need or fantasy they might have, except golden and brown showers. i always provide a true girlfriend experience, and they in turn get relationship lite — only fun and excitement — with the ultimate low-maintenance girl (as long as they pay my fees). many clients may be lonely, but few have strange or wild fantasies, and only the rare one is desperate enough to cause concern.

this grittiness that you imagine probably exists among women who work on the street. but then again, that is a world that i don’t know. nor would i care to know it.

that’s not to say that my profession is as safe and wholesome as most other jobs. in fact, my chief concern is security, especially with new clients. baring yourself and making yourself vulnerable in front of complete strangers carries significant risks, least of not which is physical security. even now, i experience a twinge of nervousness when meeting any new client. until i get to know them better and understand their routines and desires, anything can happen, and I don’t mean in bed.

a longer-term cost is a loss of trust. after having seen all these men who stray from their commitments and lie so easily to their wives or girlfriends, i find it hard to truly trust any man.

even with the risks, i do like my work. always being at another’s beck and call does get to me once in a while. but don’t we all have bosses or clients who dictate what we should do? in the end, though, i like my work because it enables me to earn a very comfortable living while not working too hard. enjoying life in manhattan is difficult unless you have plenty of time and money.

also, i like making other people happy. as strange as it may sound, hearing a regular client sigh with pleasure or moan “oh god” in the moment of release fulfills me even if i view the whole experience clinically as a business transaction.

getting back to my blog, though…

i find it more than a bit ironic that people claim that i cast too positive a light on the world of escorting since i haven’t written much about my actual work or my clients. in fact, i think i’ve only written about a handful of clients that i met over the last 3 months. i only mention clients that i find particularly interesting.

for me, my blog is a personal space that i happen to share with the whole wide world. it’s less a traditional diary where i record my daily minutiae and more a forum where i can ruminate, babble or scream in frustration (especially when it comes to our fucked-up crazy president). sometimes, i write about my daily activities. other times, i write about events or topics that catch my fancy.

if i cast a positive light on sex or on living in manhattan, it’s only because i truly do enjoy sex and have few inhibitions. also, nyc is the greatest city in the world!

even before starting life as an escort, i had broken free of many of the inhibitions that church and society programmed into me. if god truly does exist, then he must have meant for us to enjoy our bodies. otherwise why give us the orgasm? perhaps fusing our bodies into one and experiencing the release expresses the divine.

so how can i prove that i’m real?

i could post a picture.

but even then, how would you know that it’s really a picture of me? and even if you believe that the picture is real, how can you know for sure that i do what i say i do?

the only way to truly know is to become one of my clients. unfortunately, that is the one thing that i simply can’t allow.

so i guess i’ll have to live with the doubt. i actually enjoy the debate swirling around me because i like being the center of attention. mom always did say that i had a bit of the prima donna in me!

a


To Blog or Not to Blog?

In between Christmas shopping, Christmas office parties with clients, and listening to Christmas music of all sorts, I’ve become quite lazy about my little blog. I should’ve expected this given my past history with diaries.

Throughout junior high school and high school, I started and stopped writing a diary for myself. The usual pattern began with me spending lots of time writing every single thought down and even recording much of the minutiae of my daily life. Putting my thoughts down like that made me feel good, especially when writing about things that made me sad or mad. Writing became my catharsis.

After writing for a month or two, though, I’d start analyzing my own words and become unhappy with them. There were always so many things that I could’ve written better. Once I became a bit discouraged, other events in my life would crowd out the time I spent writing. Finally, I’d just stop.

So it’s happened again.

But this time, things are different.

When I kept my diary, I wrote only for myself as both author and audience. Stopping my diary didn’t have any real consequences.

With my blog, though, I feel as if we’re all part of a real community. You’ve gotten to know me. And I’ve gotten to know some of you through reading your comments and exchanging emails. Although we’re all still strangers (after all, what do we know about each other except our email addresses or blog addresses?), I feel more open, honest and real when writing to you through my blog than talking with friends.

So this time, I’m going to try my best to break the pattern and will keep on blogging instead of quitting. Please bear with me as I work through my own self-doubts.

By the way, has this ever happened to you? If so, I’d love to get the dish on how you overcame it!


Carnival of Sin #6

My favorite post from this week’s Carnival is “Double Bed” by Jay (Entry #11). Jay writes a cute short story about an experience that he’d like to have with bed delivery men. You can imagine what happened… Or you can just go and read his story.

Next Carnival of Sin will be on Monday, January 3. I’m taking a break from the Carnival for Christmas. Submit your entries here.

Entry #1 — 12/15/04 (really I just date them)
12/15/04 (really I just date them) by Wesley Wardlaw
things I discovered this year dealing with restrictive internet up at school, so if you happen to be having these sorts of problems, meaning you’re in college and they’ve shut down all the wonderful services the internet offers, here’s a few tidbits.
Entry #2 — I Was A Teenage Sasquatch Hunter!
I Was A Teenage Sasquatch Hunter! by Johnny Landotter
Hear actual sasquatch vocalisations recorded in Puyallup, Washington in 1976! Listen to Barks make a completely spontaneous mushroom joke! Learn the secret name that’s on the Landotter’s birth certificate! Amazing and true! Piles of fun!
Entry #3 — Morning Blessings
Morning Blessings by Sean Wilson
I mutter a quick, “hello,” you’re walking past, east. We see each other every morning; this is nothing special to you; you nod your head, and then turn back, ahead, no longer looking through the glass window between us.
Entry #4 — Anatomy of my Orgasm
Anatomy of my Orgasm by Red
I guess I don’t remember discovering my clitoris, but I do remember finally figuring out how to masturbate. I was 16; I used a slow steady stream of hot water from the bathtub. Giddy’up.
Entry #5 — Conversations with clerks volume 2
Conversations with clerks volume 2 by Jess
My wife has been pretty lax about getting a hold of me, she does not write, she does not call,
Entry #6 — The spirit of Christmas!
The spirit of Christmas! by Kerastasi
In the truly festive spirit of giving (to your allies) and recieving (US military aid), the Israeli government has asked for: ‘2,500 MK-84 live bombs — a general purpose 2000 lb. bomb
Entry #7 — Guilty Pleasure
Guilty Pleasure by Halden Johnson
I have a confession. I derive much pleasure from owning Garden Gnomes. I know it isn’t the most politically correct thing. There are organizations out there that would like to see Gnome owners like myslef punished but I can’t help it.
Entry #8 — Pee Wee Pervert
Pee Wee Pervert by Matt Ambrose
…As I unfurled the Johnson I noticed my oh so carefully selected neighbor staring in my direction and distinctly southward…
Entry #9 — Mr. Ladys
Mr. Ladys by Toni
I suppose it’s not uncommon for foreigners to get hit on in Japan, especially the Caucasian ones…However, my friend and fellow eikaiwa teacher had a slightly different experience.
Entry #10 — Anniversary. A post in two parts.
Anniversary. A post in two parts. by Thérèse
Part I. Discovery. She: You asleep? Me [asleep]: Mhm. She: Good. Look at me. Me: Mmmno. She: I was hoping… only one pair will look fant… Me: No. She: But they’re perfect! Me: Forget it. She left in a huff. I got up, later. Downstairs, I noticed that my Tango Shoes Were Not. There.
Entry #11 — Double Bed
Double Bed by Jay
My new bed was delivered on Saturday, an early Christmas present from NM. It’s a very nice double, with a wooden headboard and everything, but the delivery itself gave new meaning to the word ‘service’.
Entry #12 — Summer Lovin’ Parts 1 & 2
Summer Lovin’ Parts 1 & 2 by Kim
She gasps as she feels the icy cherry popsicle circle her nipple and it instantly hardens to a tight peak.
Entry #13 — Conversations With St. Nick
Conversations With St. Nick by zander
Zander: seriously, are you flirting with me? SantaClaus: Well that’s hard to say. Ask an elf Zander: i knew you had a midget fetish or something, why don’t you just admit you’re a fat perv?
Entry #14 — Gandhi VS Bush
Gandhi VS Bush by Kevin (Wotak) Towell
According to the all mighty modern christian ethic, one of the worlds greatest, most christ like teachers of all time… is in hell being burned for eternity.
Entry #15 — Something for all you gun control advocates to think about… . .
Something for all you gun control advocates to think about… . . by Jeremy
The next time someone talks in favor of gun control, please remind them of this history lesson. “With guns, we are citizens. Without them, we are subjects.”
Entry #16 — The Bronzed Aussie
The Bronzed Aussie by Johnny the Horse
I have said before that the reality show genre holds no place in my inner TV guide. But as I changed between the myriad of American cop shows I happened upon “Outback Jack”.
Entry #17 — Battlefield Earth
Battlefield Earth by Mark Blei
One of the biggest changes in politics in my lifetime is that the delusional is no longer marginal. It has come in from the fringe, to sit in the seat of power in the oval office and in Congress.
Entry #18 — Celebrity Blog Entry
Celebrity Blog Entry by Jenny
So I have a website now? And a blog. From what I was told, it’s an online journal/diary. Nice. I think I’ll enjoy this.
Entry #19 — my first…i think…shit…ah, let’s just pretend.
my first…i think…shit…ah, let’s just pretend. by maleslut35
“suck that cock, slut…milk it…” she sucks my cock…gags…looks up, with that sexy, ooops look. I am cumming… “here it comes baby…here comes what you want…what you are hungry for” and i shot a big load down her throat…
Entry #20 — Dutch Wife for hire
Dutch Wife for hire by Lee
Back in April I mentioned the advancements in Japanese blow up doll technology, and that rather amusingly such devices go by the name of Dutch Wives. But such lifelike silicon beauty comes at a cost
Entry #21 — Pick Me! Pick Me!
Pick Me! Pick Me! by Peat
I got nothin’ that can top the real blogging that goes on at “A New York Escorts (not Escort’s) Confessions” but I do have cool bus pictures and I keep track of unfortunate penis related news.
Entry #22 — In My Dream
In My Dream by Silentwordz
Everything is soft. The air. Your voice. The smell of the stillness. I don’t want to shatter it again. Let’s keep it like this.
Entry #23 — fudge: the new nicotine-patch
fudge: the new nicotine-patch by grepcomputers
If you are going to swear, swear. If swearing offends you, then don’t do it; stop using “fudge”, or whatever word you have chosen, to pretend you aren’t. (What, is it the innapropriate-language form of the nicotine-patch?)
Entry #24 — Fat Cun Chick
Fat Cun Chick by Casey Shanks
What I have not seen, is a “fat cun guy”. I have seen fat blokes with pretty thin-slim girls, and most of the time, the fat bloke look rather un-presentable. Before the fat community throws me any liposuction-fat-bags, please hear me out.
Entry #25 — Funny Quickie
Funny Quickie by zurielle
So yesterday Chad wanted to watch the newest porn we had received in the mail. I hate it when he does this at lunch because it gets me a little excited and I always want to take a longer lunch — if ya know what I mean.
Entry #26 — Ever Heard Of A Tuna Melt?
Ever Heard Of A Tuna Melt? by Nikki
Emily — You’re Puerto Rican right? Me — ::slowly:: Yes… Emily — You wanna know how I knew? Me — How?…
Entry #27 — Story Day
Story Day by SJ
I announced to Roommate #1 that on that night, this bartender would be going home with me. I had no idea what was about to occur.
Entry #28 — I am — on my period
I am — on my period by Jesus Martinez
When your woman tells you that she can’t have sex because it is that time of the month, punch her in the face and say “bitch, it’s always time to fuck in my world…
Entry #29 — Movie Review: Closer
Movie Review: Closer by Nina Scaletti
“Julia Roberts has a mouth that would swallow the QM2 if it just so happened to be Jude Law’s dick. (That alone is going to get some interesting Googles.)”
Entry #30 — Deep Shaft, Chapter 10
Deep Shaft, Chapter 10 by Dan Torchia
Mark DeCicco, the protagonist in our story, decides to take on the region’s most powerful politician and investigate the connection between him and his family.
Entry #31 — Parody of Blogs (Episode 1)
Parody of Blogs (Episode 1) by Mad House Madman
“Cardiac complications? No waaayyyyl, look at these charts” she said as she bent forward, revealing a small morsel of her delicious bottom. Our morning began well and the team was in good spirits.
Entry #32 — The bed and breakfast
The bed and breakfast by Ricardo and Dragongirl
She spreads her legs slightly to expose her sex to me. I can see the delicate pink folds waiting for me. Even after the train ride I want more of her. I place a quick love bite on her right cheek.
Entry #33 — Of Queens And Things
Of Queens And Things by David Tellez
The guy next to me goes, “Oh yes…yes…Colin please, please, fuck his mangina and make that boy feel like a real man…fuck his boy pussy!” OMG! OK…mangina? Boy pussy? WTF?!
Entry #34 — I am a suspected terrorist
I am a suspected terrorist by mark reed
Andy dares me to wear a balaclava so that we can pose by the service station for photos. I haven’t got that photo. It would be both immensely embarassing and incredulous. We go inside to make phone calls to check if Jim’s Dead.
Entry #35 — Every Cause for Every Occasion
Every Cause for Every Occasion by Evan Ames
Here’s a tip. The next time you have a brilliant idea. Write it down on a piece of paper, then have a mentally disturbed child beat you repeatevly in the head with a louisville slugger.
Entry #36 — Fancy bagging yourself some “Bangkok”
Fancy bagging yourself some “Bangkok” by Mark
Why is it that these beautiful women want to marry a man from an entirely different culture, and live in a country that is thousands of miles away from their own?
Entry #37 — He believes in beauty
He believes in beauty by Katherine
I’ve read it now, and although I’m not a drug-taking transsexual, bisexual prostitute, I can identify with some of the things written about Orkney.
Entry #38 — Being Lazy Is An Art Form
Being Lazy Is An Art Form by Elizabeth Sheryl
Joggers and people who actually get up extra early to exercise…I just don’t understand. More power to you though, I’d rather watch E! True Hollywood Story of The Real Word (oh that puck…) and eat Wheat Thins.
Entry #39 — NSM’s 20 (damned sexy!) questions…
NSM’s 20 (damned sexy!) questions… by laura at iburnforyou
11) Have you ever masturbated in public, where you could have been easily seen (ie. in a public pool, sitting on a park bench, etc)? ANSWER: yes … i’ve even done it while driving a convertible (truckers love that).

Love Diet

Not content with being the fool on “My Big Fat Obnoxious Boss,” Kerry McCloskey continues to play the fool with her new book about the “Love Diet.” According to Dr. William Granzig, the president of the American Academy of Sexologists, Kerry’s love diet is “A SOLID SCIENTIFIC PLAN guaranteed to improve your fitness and give you the sexiest, most romantic relationship ever!”

With chapters like “Training for the Bedroom Olympics” and “More Passion Burns More Calories,” how can you not lose weight?

Seriously, though, what’s up with all these reality show bimbos? First, Stacy Rotner from “The Apprentice” advertises her ability to educate the rest of us about “Dating Lessons Learned from the Apprentice” and “Dating 101, Dating Tips for Young Professionals” even though she’s totally single. (She even asked Katie Couric to prompt her about her single status on the Today Show!) Now this?

Despite the claims of a premiere sexpert Dr. Granzig, there is no way that you can lose 23 lbs just from having sex a lot. Having sex frequently will burn some calories, but the only ways to lose the lbs and to keep them off are to either be born with a lean gene or to work out and eat less.

So for all you aspiring love dieters, there are no magic sex bullets. Sorry.


Carnival of Sin #5

Woo hoo! This week’s Carnival sets a record with 48 stories. Here are some of my favorites.

Nuala (Entry 8) enlightens all of us on the difference between Safe Sane Consensual vs. a Risk Aware Consensual Kink. As hard as it may be for you to believe, I’m probably closer to a SSC — I simply can’t afford to put myself at that kind of risk with most men.

Mallory’s (Entry 17) article “The Passion of Ben Affleck” is a hilarious exposition on Ben Affleck’s “fastest success/career implosion ratio in recent memory.” Mallory builds an airtight case on why we shouldn’t pay attention to any of Ben’s hot air. The only thing I didn’t like about Mallory’s blog is that she has links to both the Red Sox and the Yankees. You should pick only one (preferably my boys the Yanks)! ;)

Julie (Entry 20) reflects on a hot sexcapade she had when she was 32 with a strapping young 19 year old French stud. I wonder if Julie’s as hot as Gabrielle on Desperate Housewives

Johnny Landotter (Entry 21) delighted me with his tale of being almost seduced by an attractive client. He made me reminisce about my recent run-in with a masseur in Sin City.

Next Carnival of Sin will be on Monday, December 20. Submit your entries here.

Entry #1 — Divided By 1 Jew + 1 Female
Divided By 1 Jew + 1 Female by Mad House Madman
nominating me would be like killing close to four birds (pseudo quasi-FMG/AG/Female/Jew) with one stone. Let’s call it killing two birds and injuring two (one severely- almost dead bird).
Entry #2 — Naughty Christmas Cookies?
Naughty Christmas Cookies? by Tara Alton
Would it be wrong to make penis shaped Christmas cookies? I have been posing that question to myself ever since I saw a novelty cookie cutter at party gags store in the “adult only” aisle.
Entry #3 — My Neighbors/Myself
My Neighbors/Myself by Patrick O’Neil
It’s just 10:53 pm and my neighbors are already jumping around like the drug crazed infidels that they truly are
Entry #4 — Prayer fror Prey
Prayer fror Prey by Sans Fromage
The Sans Fromage must applaud Defense Secretary Rumsfeld on his recent reply to the audacious soldier asking about getting decent equipment.
Entry #5 — what to do
what to do by yatesy
When I was in the middle of 5th grade, my parents got divorced. It, frankly, was awful. I should have seen it coming.
Entry #6 — 38327
38327 by Denise
Denise puts her blog posts in comic strip form
Entry #7 — The Cafe
The Cafe by sk8rn
I found it SO HOT watching the three men bump & grind against one another… Next thing I knew, he was moving towards me… My body responded involuntarily, lifting itself up away from the mirror and towards him.
Entry #8 — SSC vs. RACK
SSC vs. RACK by nuala
The knife could slip. The needle could nick a nerve. The rope could get tangled.
Entry #9 — HAY LOOK!
HAY LOOK! by miss ali
I got this [a Burt’s Bees soap pack] as an early Christmas present. Lettuce soap, carrot soap and tomato soap. I am smelling like a salad!
Entry #10 — She encouraged me to do it, then dared me to blog about it
She encouraged me to do it, then dared me to blog about it by Sherriff
About 10 seconds after that she told me to get my cock out. I did. And as she drove, half watching me, half watching the road, I looked after myself in the manner of a boy who knows how to look after himself.
Entry #11 — NASA (Nice Ass Starer Anonymous)
NASA (Nice Ass Starer Anonymous) by Silentwordz
“Maybe we’d even go ass-watching together when it got to be too much. We’d just sit there and think “damn” and shake our heads.”
Entry #12 — Fuck Censorship
Fuck Censorship by Paul Pritchard
Evanescence sells a CD. Wal-Mart gets sued…For a start, free speech is seriously compromised when censorship policy is determined by and in reaction to small minded idiots…
Entry #13 — Dear MLB, You are like school in summertime
Dear MLB, You are like school in summertime by mr. blackandwhite
Guess what MLB I am already a member of Red Sox Nation so FUCK OFF!. As a matter of fact, I’ve been a member since I was a little kid and I’ve got the pictures of me heading off to my 1st day of school with my Sox cap on to prove it.
Entry #14 — An Experiment of Sorts
An Experiment of Sorts by Nixxx
I am one of the more sexual women I know. I tend to react to sexual stimuli in much the same manner a man does but there are still differences. So I decided to do a little experiement.
Entry #15 — Sexy Santa
Sexy Santa by Lee
Yes, for a measly 3,000 yen (15 pounds), anyone feeling like a bit of a festive frolic can go and visit miniskirt Santa. And as the picture suggests, Santa is not an overweight man with a yellowing beard and bad breath. Rather…
Entry #16 — Die Zeit, die ist ein sonderbar Ding
Die Zeit, die ist ein sonderbar Ding by John Psmyth
… ease myself out crawling back bobbing, careful the condom keeps holding my load: … rest sleepyhead between her sweaty breasts: lay my right ear to her chest: Blood pump blood pump blood pump blood pump …
Entry #17 — The Passion of Ben Affleck
The Passion of Ben Affleck by Mallory
Say what you want about P. Diddy, but his level head and quick thinking have gotten him out of many a tight situation. All Ben Affleck’s got going for him is the fastest success/career implosion ratio in recent memory.
Entry #18 — NAKED IS CLEAN, THE WAY I WANT TO WORK
NAKED IS CLEAN, THE WAY I WANT TO WORK by Melissa Moon
My pubic bone pressed cool against the side of the fridge, as I dived down to reach a Magnum. Cool air caressed my cunt, and my body wore nothing but sunlight.
Entry #19 — Masturbation is Like Golf
Masturbation is Like Golf by Rod
I’ve tried masturbating with my left hand, and on occasion it is interesting to do it that way. Kind of like fucking in something other than the missionary position all the time. But it’s not the same.
Entry #20 — Sexcapades of Julie, part 1
Sexcapades of Julie, part 1 by Julie
Actually, historical sexcapades. I’ve been thinking about music mash-ups, and I’ve been thinking about sex…which leads me to the Julie mix of greatest sexual adventures. The first installment, and perhaps the best: Matthieu, the French 19 year old.
Entry #21 — This Job Is Gonna Get Me In Trouble…
This Job Is Gonna Get Me In Trouble… by Johnny Landotter
A towel roll must be wrapped around the back of the neck with the ends laid over the breasts as covering. Then the top sheet must be slowly (so as not to disturb the towel) pulled south until the sternum is exposed…
Entry #22 — Dear Wendy’s Employee
Dear Wendy’s Employee by Frolics and Detours
It is not appropriate to discuss the pros and cons of taking out your nipple piercing while I am waiting for you to finish putting my order together.
Entry #23 — in cleaning out my spare room
in cleaning out my spare room by hazeyu
in cleaning out my spare room, i found a piece of paper that may save me some heartache in the years to come.
Entry #24 — Internet Dating
Internet Dating by girlfiend
The only people I knew were my coworkers and customers at the bagel shop in Wynnnewood- the same place I had worked throughout high school. Desperate for human contact that didn’t involve carbs, I turned to the internet.
Entry #25 — Posing Without Panties
Posing Without Panties by Liz
I have these two friends. I’ll call them Thelma and Louise since I can see hitting the road with both of them in a topless car and getting into some bad-girl trouble with a few bad men.
Entry #26 — Three Cheers for Violence
Three Cheers for Violence by Evan Fucking Ames
If he was able to manuever in to that, why couldn’t he manuever his ass to somewhere lacking blunt heavy objects to run in to. Oh yeah, cuz he’s a fucking idiot.
Entry #27 — Anniversary?
Anniversary? by Ammie
Today is the fifth anniversary of the day that our relationship changed from long time acquaintances and friends. Before this date, he was my best friend’s younger brother. The annoying obnoxious guy that seemed to delight in tormenting me.
Entry #28 — You’re gonna go and fire the man at CHRISTMAS TIME?!?!
You’re gonna go and fire the man at CHRISTMAS TIME?!?! by Korean Celt
So they fired Ty Willingham. At the risk of coming across as actually caring about Notre Dame football, I’m going to say a few things about this anyway.
Entry #29 — DMV Revisited
DMV Revisited by Gian Milano
I got there early, around 10:00, and it was a Thursday, so I figured there wouldn’t be that many people there. It’s a Thursday morning, right? People should be at work, there won’ be a long line. Wrong, wrong, wrong.
Entry #30 — Things You Just Figure Out…Eventually
Things You Just Figure Out…Eventually by Heather
I always thought Broadway (as in, New York) meant any show playing at Radio City Music Hall. You can imagine my excitement when our family decided to vacation there in 1989 and take us to see “A Chorus Line.”
Entry #31 — Changes
Changes by bad man
They’re like my big sisters. My sweet, debauched, awesome big sisters. And they’re moving out of the city. The Beauty is moving to another continent, and her roommate is just generally moving out of New York.
Entry #32 — I Figured Something Out
I Figured Something Out by K
I don’t think I ever loved him at all.
Entry #33 — Midnight Snack
Midnight Snack by Rckymtnred
When I went to bed last night, Gorgeous came in a laid down with me. He usually does that until I fall asleep and then he goes and gets
Entry #34 — Revenge!
Revenge! by Tyler Haas
A tipped employee gets revenge on a non-tipping customer.
Entry #35 — The Joy of Being Me…
The Joy of Being Me… by ShibbyChibby
Life, love, confusion…all part of who I am. Klutz, spaz, dumbshit…more of who I am
Entry #36 — All Eyes on the White Prize
All Eyes on the White Prize by Toni
About a year ago my mom was having a conversation with one of her relatives (I can’t mention what the exact relation is between them). For some reason they started talking about me and my boyfriend, and naturally the subject of marriage came up.
Entry #37 — I’m on a highway to hell
I’m on a highway to hell by cate
I used the word “cock” yesterday in an IM conversation* — then, because the person with whom I was conversing didn’t react, I typed “I can’t believe I just used the word ‘cock’” …
Entry #38 — Black Lois Lane
Black Lois Lane by Kizzy
I came across this comic “Lois Lane — I am curious (BLACK)!” I did some research, in hopes of finding a copy. no luck. Any lingering copies are probably burned, destroyed, or locked away in someone’s adolecent (and forgotten) trunk.
Entry #39 — Deep Shaft, Chapter 9
Deep Shaft, Chapter 9 by Dan Torchia
In which our protagonist goes out drinking after botching a news story and meets his nemisis, another reporter from a competing newspaper.
Entry #40 — STD……I WISH!!!
STD……I WISH!!! by Frankie The Flake
So there I was…….skulking in the shadows. Then…the coast was clear! I made a dart for the door….make as if I was walking past,then at the last minute,fall through the door,hoping no-one saw me!
Entry #41 — Thoughts On Rap Music By A 39y/o White Woman
Thoughts On Rap Music By A 39y/o White Woman by AGFH
I guarantee that the majority of you are thinking that I am going to slam rap music.Well you couldn’t be more wrong.
Entry #42 — The Cynical Career Counsellor Explains your Future as a Trucker
The Cynical Career Counsellor Explains your Future as a Trucker by Jay Purple
You’llgo to one of those truck driving schools—be prepared for lots of people honking and giving you the finger for a few weeks while you roll backwards at traffic lights—you may crush a car or two, but eventually you’ll get the hang of it.
Entry #43 — Adam
Adam by christy villanueva
adam: wait would that be gay? adam: or incetuous? adam: OR MASTERBATION? adam: yikes!!! adam: mayber GAYCESTERBATION
Entry #44 — Amanda de Cadenet
Amanda de Cadenet by Implosion
I tried to write something about myself, but it felt too dark. BUT instead, I’ll write about a woman who casts a bit of a spell on men. A woman whom I would swap lives for in a split second.
Entry #45 — Moral Law
Moral Law by Devendra Gera
The other day I was having a light discussion with a law student. We got around to the topic of law and morality. That made me think. Here’s what I thought.
Entry #46 — rock formation
rock formation by Jonathan Ryan
it’s really cold out. i can’t handle it. seriously, my bones are chilled every instant i’m out of doors. like when i took this picture. yeah…
Entry #47 — The Ghost Who Hated Christmas
The Ghost Who Hated Christmas by CocteauBoy
Well, it may be that we now have a visitor in our apartment. And not the kind with skin, but otherwise.
Entry #48 — Lots of thinking going on…
Lots of thinking going on… by Nerida
I have always been fascinated by predators — not just human ones, but in the animal world as well, big cats, birds of prey, snakes, etc…and I think that comes back to my submissive nature, and the fact that I love to be considered prey.

New Commenting System

Penile enlargements anybody? How about a visit to your friendly online casino? What about buying a fake Rolex? After all, don’t we all need some extra bling?

I’m sick of having to erase the flood of comment spam that’s been plaguing my blog. Comment spammers are just like cockroaches. They hide out of sight in really old posts and then relentlessly multiply their ads for all sorts of lovely items that you would never buy. I just wish I could call some exterminators.

So I asked my friend S to help me figure out how to deal with it and he set up a registration system for my blog. Now, you have to register for an account with TypeKey before you can post a comment.

I hope that this doesn’t discourage too many people from commenting — it’s really easy to sign up. Also, your info is pretty secure because TypeKey is run by the people who make MovableType, my blog program.


Sexless in Indiana

Here’s another letter from a reader.

I am a 24-year-old English teacher currently living in Indiana. I know, right? Indiana. I am the mother of one child, a beautiful son, who I share the responsibility of raising with his father. He’s with me most of the time, but because his father lives out-of-state he sees his father some weekends and holidays. Anyway! I live a very quiet and ordinary life. I’m a bit bored to be honest. For the past three years, I’ve been in relationships with women. I currently live with my ex-girlfriend. However, I am considering getting back out there and dating men again.

I have had a difficult time being intimate with another person, be it male or female, since I was about 18. Don’t get me wrong. I think I am attractive. I’m often told that I am attractive. I dress well and have moments of feeling sexy, but I rarely feel “sexual.” I’m not taking any medications aside from birth control pills to regulate my cycle. I don’t know what’s happened to me. Last time I remember having a healthy libido was in high school when I dated my son’s father. Now, you’d think I was an old woman!

What do you suggest? How can I bring out the inner “wild cat” again? What can I do to feel sexy and want sex more than once or twice a month? I’d really like to be highly sexual like I once was. I appreciate any and all suggestions you can give. I admire you for the sex goddess that you are.

K

Hi K,

Thanks for sending me your email. I’m touched.

As strange as it may sound coming from me, I believe that the shortest path to feeling “sexual” is to find a man (or woman) who you really connect with emotionally. Sex without the connection can be fun, but in the end it’s usually just meaningless calories like the sugar you drink with regular sodas. On the other hand, sex with that special someone can be electrifying. To this day, I still vividly remember the wild sex that I had with my boyfriend in college. We had an amazing physical attraction and emotional connection that constantly fed off each other and translated into incredible sex multiple times a day — we just couldn’t get enough of each other!

Of course, that’s much easier said than done. Based on your letter, you seem to be caught in a Catch-22 situation. Since you haven’t found the right person, you’re finding it difficult to get motivated to put yourself out there. But since you’re less motivated, you find it more difficult to find the right person. This cycle continues repeating itself. Net result? Little or no sex for extended periods of time.

Ordinarily, I’d suggest trying lots of different things like posting a personal on the Internet, asking your friends for help getting setup or going clubbing with girlfriends so that you can put yourself out there on the dating market again. The Internet has been a real boon in helping people connect with others — whether it’s escorts and clients or singles and potential mates! Even if you feel clumsy or unsexy at first, just going through the motions can help get the juices flowing. And once you start taking positive actions, your mind will usually follow.

Since you haven’t felt intimate with anyone despite trying for the last 6 years, however, I wonder if there is something deeper within you that’s preventing you from feeling sexual. Just putting yourself out there may not help and may even discourage you. If there is a deeper cause for your difficulties in being intimate, then you should probably confront those issues to understand them first.

a

P.S., You may also want to consider moving from Indiana to New York of LA — you’ll probably find a lot more eligible singles out here. I know. I know. My friends tell me that I’m a coast snob, but I just can’t help it! :)


Question for Carnival Participants

Has my little Carnival of Sin helped you get new readers? An enquiring mind wants to know. Thanks!


Run Alexa Run

See Alexa run. Run Alexa run!

Today’s been amazingly warm in Manhattan — I can’t believe that it’s mid-December. OK. I’m not talking about the balmy weather that you California people experience, but it normally should be freezing in NYC by now.

Taking advantage of the unseasonably warm conditions, I ran the big loop in Central Park (I think it’s about 6 miles) in just tights and a light jacket. I really love running in the Park. So the air in Manhattan’s not exactly fresh and you do get the occasional whiff of manure from the horse carriages that go around the park. But the Park is an amazing sanctuary within Manhattan — it’s the only place in the city with so many trees and grass. Once you enter the Park, you almost forget that you’re in the middle of this crazy city. I especially like going there on the weekdays. Sometimes, you have to avoid cars that go zipping by, but at least you can avoid the weekend crowds.

I hope that we get some more of this weather for the rest of the week. Running outdoors is so much more fun than pushing weights or moving in place in a gym!


Moral Values

Recently, a faithful reader wrote to me

Alexa,

You suck. You and your friends are sick, depraved sluts who are nothing better than two bit whores who deserve to burn in hell. I hope that you get AIDS and die a painful death.

Ho Hater

Dear Ho Hater,

Thank you for your very kind letter. I’m glad to see that you attended those Sunday School classes where the preacher taught hate and intolerance. I must have missed that one about AIDS and death, though.

You know, I AM a slut. I enjoy the feel of a thick cock throbbing in my shaved, dripping pussy as I ride it. I love it when a warm tongue works its way all over my body — teasing me every so often — until it finally arrives at my lips swollen with anticipation. I even like being with another woman if I’m in the mood, especially if I’m in the mood.

Does that mean I’m just a nympho who just needs to have sex 24/7? No. Although I have sex often and am a hedonist, I’m not into it a lot of the time — my only purpose being to serve the needs of another rather than to experience pleasure myself. He almost always thinks that I’m completely there in the moment, but I’m actually thinking about how to bring him to climax with minimal soreness. Only the rare man (or woman) can really turn me on and thus not require KY.

So am I depraved? If, by depraved, you mean someone who has lots of sex with different people, then maybe I am.

If, however, you mean someone who wantonly hurts others, then I am absolutely not. I love my mom, brother and even my sister-in-law dearly. I often fail, but I try my best to treat others fairly and generously. I always tip well because I know how hard it is to live on meager wages in NYC. I even mostly report my own income and pay taxes.

You, on the other hand, should look in the mirror for your own possible depravity. Religious fanatics like you have been the source of misery, pain and death for countless millions of people throughout the ages. That righteous veneer of religion masks the deeper hate and fear of others who are different.

Do you remember a little something called the Crusades? How about the Spanish Inquisition? Maybe the Holocaust, N. Ireland or even the Middle East may stir your memory a bit more. How easy it is for people like you to conveniently forget all that messy stuff about forgiving others, loving your enemy and showing mercy so that you can pillage, rape and kill others who disagree with you.

I don’t need you to agree with me. How you live your life and what you believe is your own business so long as you don’t hurt anyone else. In fact, I’m all for religion for helping people find guidance, comfort or meaning in their lives. I do need, though, for you to back the hell off from judging my life — my life is just fine.

If I remember correctly from my own days as a bible study leader in church, Jesus once said something about taking the log out of your own eye before taking the spec out of your sister’s eye. I may have something bigger than a spec, but you sure have one big-ass log!

Your loving slut,
Alexa

P.S., No, it’s not okay for you to masturbate while thinking about me kneeling before you naked and begging you for mercy because god may just strike you down for spilling your own seed.


Carnival of Sin #4

You guys are in for a treat because this week’s Carnival has some fab stories.

Heather and Jessica, the creators of Go Fug Yourself (one of my favorite blogs of all time), brought me to tears by lovingly submitting their latest Britney story. If only we could all adopt that chic poor white trash look that Britney has mastered…

Also, Spa Girl, who sent me a letter about her first threesome experience, has written about her second time with John and Digger. Unfortunately for her, the second experience didn’t quite measure up to the first. Fortunately for us, though, she wrote a great story about it!

Finally, a previous Carnival participants told me that she received ~300 new visitors. Who knew that my little Carnival was so popular? I’m just so excited to be able to share some love with other bloggers! :)

Next Carnival of Sin will be on Monday, December 13. Submit your entries here.

Entry #1 — The Letter of Fug
The Letter of Fug by The Fug Girls
Y’all, I am a married lady! This is how I look, for reals, y’all. I don’t have to brush my hair for Kevin. I don’t even have to take a shower for Kevin! He told me that I have to do is keep signing the checks…of LOVE.
Entry #2 — Jumble of Falling Musicians
Jumble of Falling Musicians by Mad House Madman
Dedicated for the patient who coded last evening: many people love you and they don’t want you to die. And I don’t want you to die. And you are dying. In many ways this coat feels like a A cage. I feel trapped in my white coat.
Entry #3 — No, Where Are You REALLY From?
No, Where Are You REALLY From? by Toni
A few years back I was in a drug store in Park City, Utah looking for nail clippers (don’t ask). I couldn’t find them so I looked for a store employee to help me out.
Entry #4 — The Stage is Set
The Stage is Set by Evan Ames
10. Tell mall security that their Santa looks a lot like an Al Quieda terrorists mug shot you saw on TV this morning and that you saw him place a package near one of the emergency exits! Have fun this holiday season!
Entry #5 — Ass on the menu?
Ass on the menu? by Avatar
“Gentlemen, explain something to me: what is the appeal of salad-tossing? Since when did tuckus lingus become part of the average straight male’s sexual repertoire?”
Entry #6 — Three’s Company — The Second Time Around
Three’s Company — The Second Time Around by Spa Girl
After my first threesome went so well, I was eager to try it again. And this time John promised that I would have his and Digger’s undivided attention. Just me, my wet pussy and two eager cocks.
Entry #7 — My sex blog, entry 258741
My sex blog, entry 258741 by Michael
He: “Can we have sex now?” She: “No.” He: “Howabout now?” She: “Still no.”
Entry #8 — Abstinence Programs Mislead teens
Abstinence Programs Mislead teens by Kizzy
Abortion makes you sterile, 50 percent of gay male teenagers are HIV-positive, mutual masturbation can get you pregnant, you can get HIV from sweat, and more fun “facts” from our federally-funded abstinence-only curricula.
Entry #9 — The Blue Waters
The Blue Waters by Silentwordz
“Her body glistened as she came out of the water. It moved off of her curvy figure like a slow tango on a summer night. “
Entry #10 — Haste Makes Waste
Haste Makes Waste by TJ
The crusty, cranky, soaked-in-vinegar bitch of a lecturer watched him walk away with a stunned girlish look on her face, and a hand pressed to her cheek where he had touched her. He never did hand in that essay.
Entry #11 — A Shopping Story
A Shopping Story by Adam
I ran to Best Buy on the day Seinfeld came out on DVD. There were promos everywhere and a huge table with stacks of DVD Sets of Seasons 1 — 3. I walked up to this table and the perky girl behind it looked up at me.
Entry #12 — “You’re sweet!” “You’re gentle!” You’re natural” and Not Joining a Coven
“You’re sweet!” “You’re gentle!” You’re natural” and Not Joining a Coven by Melissa Moon
Sucking him off in the lift of the Civil Service Club, he told his balls came off 7 times and 7 is a lucky number. He didn’t tell me how they got back on.
Entry #13 — The Great Assmancipator
The Great Assmancipator by carefreemistress
If you missed the “Lincoln is gay” bandwagon the last time it came to town, it’s back!
Entry #14 — The Skirt
The Skirt by Mahala
The skirt rides up to just below my hips as I straddle him. It’s because of this that I chose to wear the skirt that day. I knew it was his favorite, and secretly, it was also mine.
Entry #15 — Deep Shaft, Chapter 8
Deep Shaft, Chapter 8 by Dan Torchia
The next chapter in my coming-of-age novel about a newspaper reporter in a small Kansas town.
Entry #16 — Seriously, Folks
Seriously, Folks by Julie
..I’m going to put an end to all that right now by talking about a subject near and dear to my heart: postmodernism. I’d like to talk specifically about what postmodernism is doing to David Hasselhoff.
Entry #17 — Paying For It
Paying For It by Karl Elvis
An essay on paying for sex
Entry #18 — Back at the Cabaret: Round Two
Back at the Cabaret: Round Two by Simon Winky
She is standing next to me, an awkward moment. She says, “Don’t sit too close at the ballet.”
Entry #19 — No bums in Israel
No bums in Israel by Paul Pritchard
I am deeply indebted to a bunch of repressed rabbis for giving me an excuse to post a picture of womens’ bottoms.
Entry #20 — The Buffalo’s Butt
The Buffalo’s Butt by Rod
I’ve been practicing. John Hulse once wrote, “When I was young, someone told me, that to really please a woman, I had to learn to balance a nickel on the tip of my tongue.”
Entry #21 — So Jealous It Hurts
So Jealous It Hurts by Eric Skilling
Part-time blogger Mason currently has a post on his website gloating about how much fan mail he gets and how wicked awesome he is. I cried and then I seethed.
Entry #22 — Sun and Moon and Storm
Sun and Moon and Storm by Johnny Landotter
I highly recommend the pre-historic call of the emu, someone should make a CD. We’d wake to the sound and just move right on into it, no words needed. I’d wake up hard, she’d wake up wet, that’s how up-front the sex was.
Entry #23 — Info lost… belly hungry…
Info lost… belly hungry… by Jenny
Either in real life, or in my dream, I picked up a shoe and threw it on the ceiling. Only to see it about to hit the light, I ducked and got hit in the back with the shoe.
Entry #24 — the meeting
the meeting by jem
it was night, or close to night. rain all day. i was going to my friend’s house to work on some documentation for our thesis. i was cold and wet, and gearing myself up for yet another sleepless night. it was not exactly a night to look forward to.
Entry #25 — Confessions — Chapter 1
Confessions — Chapter 1 by Presley
Having dinner with my family is a disaster waiting to happen. Did I mention that it’s my entire family?
Entry #26 — Some Got Game, Some Don’t
Some Got Game, Some Don’t by Cyn
I was having some deep thoughts about sex yesterday. I realized that I am not a romantic person when it comes to sex, although I wouldn’t go as far to say that love has nothing to do with sex.
Entry #27 — Sweet Dreams
Sweet Dreams by Agent Mulder
Anyway, the beginning of the dream must symbolise a little of my guilt and bad feelings over what happened, as it starts with me lying face down on a bed, naked, with D behind me. I am telling her to spank me with notepads.
Entry #28 — Restrained Pleasure
Restrained Pleasure by Slippery Sweet
I felt his hot breath against my thighs as he straddled my ankles, leaning over, his cock hard against my legs, his lips where his hand had spanked me. His tongue flicked out over me, his teeth bit me,
Entry #29 — yes, that’s right … 36 orgasms
yes, that’s right … 36 orgasms by Laura
next thing, i was topless, and then bottomless. i ran to the washroom in my VS lace boy-panties, hoping i wouldn’t run into his roommate. if i had, no big deal. if the roommate was HOT, i’d probably have asked him to join us later.
Entry #30 — Unfathomable Part Two….You Bastards
Unfathomable Part Two….You Bastards by Dante
“There’s nothing wrong with having feelings. Having feelings is what makes us who we are. But you don’t have the luxury of living in such a romanticized world. As much as you may think and hope, love isn’t some lever that you turn.
Entry #31 — New-school times, Old-school love
New-school times, Old-school love by Reta
I have to admit, I’ve begun to grow fonder of Petaling Jaya. Don’t get me wrong, Subang is still Number #1 in my list but PJ has become my Number #2 for now. I guess it must be the one year of driving up and down, to and fro my boy’s place.
Entry #32 — Grade School Songs
Grade School Songs by sunny
Last night, I remembered a great one, one we even danced to, in second grade. I think it was the Spring Program, or some more creative name. We stood on the stage of the gymnasium, with yellow circles taped to our hips, and gyrated to:
Entry #33 — something I realized in someone else’s journal
something I realized in someone else’s journal by Chris Boring
I have a theory that fashion ends for most heterosexual males sometime between their 18th and 25th birthday, and any further developments in fashion after then will be completely impossible for him to assimilate.
Entry #34 — The One With The Sex
The One With The Sex by em
I remember very clearly the day I lost my virginity. It seemed as if even the mirrors were fogging up, those sultry summer days and that everywhere we went, even in public places we couldn’t stop touching each other.
Entry #35 — Open Letter To Crazy People
Open Letter To Crazy People by yatesy
Dear Crazy People, When I call you crazy, please do not take it personally. But you are.

Ebony Fantasies

This weekend, I went to Henri Bendel, one of my favorite stores on 5th Ave, to look for some new clothes. Although I didn’t quite find any clothes that I liked, I found something much juicier on the second floor…

A gorgeous half-naked black model stood on the balcony chatting with some of the female clerks. Besides his skin-tight jeans, he only had “Henri Bendel New York” painted in white diagonally across one of his perfectly sculpted pecs and glitter scattered on his face and left arm.

Ordinarily, I would’ve gone up and talked to him and maybe even stroked him (only on the arms or chest of course.) Last Saturday, however, a sudden wave of shyness inexplicably overcame me. Completely bizarre. After admiring this perfect male specimen from the distance for a couple minutes, I just left the store.

Well, if I see him again, I’ll let him wrap his dark chocolate arms around me. Screw that. I’ll just have to pour hot melted chocolate all over my naked body and let him lick it all off!

What is it about hot bald black men that I find so attractive??


Ken Jennings Trivia

Wow. It looks like my obsession with Ken has caught some attention. First, the Philadelphia Enquirer has an article about Ken that quotes my little blog. Second, a Korean fan sends me an email with trivia about Ken Jennings.

So, for all you Ken Jennings enthusiasts, here are 2 trivia questions about Ken from his high school days…

Hi Alexa,

Your blog is kewl. It’s funny to me that you’re obsessed with Ken because I went to school with him in the Seoul Foreign School in Korea. Here are some minor trivia points about Ken that I remember. Feel free to share them with your readers. Please keep in touch!

Seoul Man

Did you know that Ken lived in Korea for over 10 years? I didn’t until very recently and was shocked to find out while reading some other blogs about Ken because Ken’s so white!

So, I pasted the trivia questions from Seoul Man in black-on-black text. If you want to read it, just highlight the text in your browser. Those reading the site in newsreaders, you’ll just have to close your eyes or something. So here’s the scoop:

Answer: 2nd
Question:What was Ken’s class rank when he graduated from Seoul Foriegn School? (Apparently some Korean girl graduated #1)

Answer: Stanford
Question:What school did Ken get admitted to but turn down in favor of University of Washington?


Bye Bye Ken

As predicted by various bloggers, Ken Jennings lost last night on his 75th episode after winning over $2.5 million. Over the last couple months, I became strangely obsessed with watching him dominate other contestants with his brains and trigger finger.

I really do love smart and rich men, but Ken’s not my type. He’s too corn syrupy sweet. Can you just imagine, though, what would happen if I had a chance to corrupt that nice Mormon boy? Hee hee! :) Maybe I should book a flight to Salt Lake City after all…


Disappointed at Rockefeller

My friend Chris dragged me to midtown west last night to watch the Christmas tree lighting ceremony at the Rockefeller Center. In order to properly celebrate his first Christmas in New York, he just HAD to go see the tree lighting. Although we arrived well before the festivities were supposed to begin, I didn’t see much and heard almost nothing.

By the time we got to area around Radio City Music Hall, we merged with a solid wall of people walking down the street towards Rockefeller Center. Eventually, everyone stopped. Other people started jamming us in from all sides as the space around us slowly disappeared. Chris told me that it sort of felt like we were in the trash compactor room from Star Wars. To me, it felt more like we were two strands of spaghetti packed tightly within a dry pasta package.

In the end, people stood so close to us that we found it impossible to take a step of our own in any direction. The only thing we could do was to slowly follow the current of the crowd as our neighbors on all sides nudged us to and fro. To make matters worse, I couldn’t really see too far beyond the people next to us because everyone towered over all 5’6” of me.

For a moment, I considered asking Chris to let me sit on his shoulder so I could see just so I could get back at him for dragging me out there, but then re-considered… for my sake. After all, I’d hate to fall on my head if Chris lost his balance.

Blah.

I told Chris that he better watch the tree lighting ceremony on his TV next year. Count me out.


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about me

I'm a twenty-something New York escort. I love Prada, Seven jeans, and Jimmy Choos. I'm also totally addicted to Starbucks' grande non-fat white mocha and working out.

So why am I writing this blog? I have an inner exhibitionist that just needs to be let out. I've always wanted to bare myself completely in front of strangers but have always been held back by fear.

As strange as it may sound, I've never really truly bared myself in front of any of my clients. For all that they've seen, they've never seen me be me. And for all that I've seen, I simply need to share it with you!

So why should you come? To be tantalized and teased. To get release by knowing the true me.

I promise that I won't bite, and if I do bite, I'll make sure you like it!


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