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A New York Escorts Confessions
Girls Gone Wild
I should’ve known that last night would be crazy when the drunk man started peeing into the toilet, completely oblivious to the fact that my friends and I were watching him.
We started celebrating my friend’s birthday at Bar 89 on Mercer Street. The most prominent feature of this trendy Sex and the Cityesque lounge bar is the unisex bathroom with the transparent toilet stalls that magically become opaque when you close the latch. The only catch is that you’ve actually gotta close the latch.
My friends and I were lounging on the couch in the bathroom while waiting for a stall to open up. A drunk man stumbles into the bathroom. With his bowling ball gut hanging out of his pants and his constant shifting from foot to foot, he looks like a cross between a Weeble Wobble and an Oompa Loompa. Ignoring the fact that we’ve been waiting, he rushes into the first stall that opens up.
Normally, I’d object and maybe even yell. I may only be 115 lbs dripping wet, but nobody pushes this New Yorker around, especially if you’re pushing in front of me in line! :) But objecting or yelling wouldn’t do any good in this case.
Forgetting to close the latch, Drunk Oompa Loompa opens his pants and starts the geysers for all the world to see. I wonder if he sees his penis underneath his gut or operates his equipment through feel only.
After a couple more drinks, my friends and I decide to meet up with another group at a bar on 7th Ave South. This is when everything starts to become hazy. My memory comes in only disjointed snippets.
Tequila shots. Don Julio. Only the best. Lots of them.
Lips and tongue numb…
Making out with a couple of my girlfriends.
Room spinning…
Head throbbing as little Ooma Loompas pound what remains of my brain into itty bitty pieces of chocolate…
Puke. Damn! Missed the toilet.
Now I have to clean up. Ugh. Better stop procrastinating.
Note to self: Tequila shots evil. Stay away. You’re not in college anymore!
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confessionsComments
As I was driving back to Atlanta from Louisiana via Mississippi and Alabama, the thought hit me while I was following one of many mobile homes being moved on the interestate. "Why would some one that follows trailor's for a living have such a racey blog?" I still don't know but I love it! ;-)
Posted by Charles A. Chambers on Oct 12 11:34AMYou're surrounded by the golden stuff these days, aren't you? Is this a sign of something? :-) Planet.
Posted by Planet on Oct 12 12:17PMA WHOLE group of tequila connoisseurs known as the CaboMasters would disagree with your "only the best" reference to Don Julio. But at least you were drinking good 100% agave tequila. Worshippers of the fine agave nectar know that it is meant to be sipped, not slammed. Shooting tequila is one of the many reasons our friends south of the border think we Americans are idiots of the highest order, yet distillers love us. Properly enjoyed, tequila (100% agave) won't hurt you.
Posted by Pua on Oct 12 01:37PMWell, now I feel stupid. When we vacationed in the Caribbean last year, the staff had my husband doing shot after shot after shot of tequila until he didn't know his name.
I didn't know you were supposed to sip it. Damn tricky Mexicans.
Posted by Dawn (webmiztris) on Oct 12 03:21PMWatch out for those Oompa Loompas. This is the sure fire sign that you should stop drinking.
Posted by Phin on Oct 12 04:07PM"he looks like a cross between a Weeble Wobble and an Oompa Loompa" :lol: now that is a scary visual.
Posted by darth on Oct 12 06:30PMJust one thing to remember with Tequila - and take this from a student who went to UofWisconsin - Madison (aka "Home of the world's #1 keg retailer") stop at the point when if you close your eyes you can feel the room start to spin a little. If you stop then, you won't ever have to throw up again (of course, this objective technique doesn't take into account the fact that you will already be drunk and thus disinclined to stop - but you rolls your dice and you takes your chances).
Posted by Katie on Oct 12 10:26PMTequila is evil indeed. But Bacardi 151 is a badass.
So it's sipping, not shooting aye?
Posted by vlad on Oct 13 03:09AMThe Cabo Masters would think highely of you. Don Julio is my personal choice as well. Everybody in the club get tipsy!
Posted by Evan Ames Is An Asshole on Oct 13 03:24PM"Making out with a couple of my girlfriends"... Details please.
Posted by dancefan on Oct 14 01:43AMTequila... my favourite sin-inducing holy water... come here, I'll buy you a bottle.
Posted by rangga on Oct 14 02:51AMOMG Tequilla shots, reminds me of a very hard drinking night in New Orleans while on holiday in the States.. Thankfully, was after the trip to the House of Blues but never again..those shots are histoire for me!
Posted by Steve on Oct 14 03:30AMCheers oooRobertooo,
I'm going to use that little tip right now. To say nothing of the fact that I'm stressed, depressed and lonely - I feel a cold coming on. And who can say 'No' to tequila?
Not I, thats for sure.
Posted by Mr Alphabet on Oct 14 04:31AMPost a Comment
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about me
So why am I writing this blog? I have an inner exhibitionist that just needs to be let out. I've always wanted to bare myself completely in front of strangers but have always been held back by fear.
As strange as it may sound, I've never really truly bared myself in front of any of my clients. For all that they've seen, they've never seen me be me. And for all that I've seen, I simply need to share it with you!
So why should you come? To be tantalized and teased. To get release by knowing the true me.
I promise that I won't bite, and if I do bite, I'll make sure you like it!
my favorite posts
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- Selling Out (Part III)
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don't bury that shot-glass yet! Was on a cruise and a family of five sisters were hanging with us all week. One night I'm getting that scratchy "hell I have a cold tomorrow" feeling and mention it whilst camping at the bar at 1am. Eldest sister tells me to take a shot of Tequila, high octane preferrably. "My grandmother would give us shots of tequila to kill germs to keep us from getting a cold" as long as you administer when you first feel the symptoms coming on. WEIRD right? Nope. Works like a charm. And now Tequila is my medicinal buddy when flu season hits!
Posted by oooRobertooo on Oct 12 10:30AM