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A New York Escorts Confessions
Fugly is the New Pretty
Platinum Tiffany Hearts necklace? $7,500
Manolo Blahnik pumps? $485
V-string from Victoria’s Secret? $12
Getting irrefutable proof that Britney Spears is white Trash with a capital T? Priceless.
After my little run-in with Kathryn, I decided to lay low and stay in. The yucky rain hasn’t helped much either.
So you can imagine my joy when I stumbled upon Fugging It Up today! Every day, Heather and Jessica pick a picture of some fugly celebrity and make wickedly funny comments.
Here are some pics of Britney Spears and some quotes from the site. She’s been my idol ever since she gyrated in that sexy Catholic school girl uniform in the “Baby One More Time” video. You’ve come a long way, baby!
So now go fug yourself and give some love to Heather and Jessica!
Britney’s got a new single coming out, the cover of Bobby Brown’s “My Prerogative” that’s attached to her Greatest Hits album — the premature appearance of which suggests that nobody really believes wholeheartedly that she’ll have a “great” hit ever again, so they might as well strike while the Frito Pie is still hot.
As such, it’s nice to see Britney already thinking ahead about her future, and turning to alternate sources of income — specifically, what one can only assume is preparation for a gig as a Clearasil spokeswoman:
It’s like she rubbed her chin in Crisco, which might well be close to the truth if she was anywhere near the loins of her new husband.
Zits are tough. And what’s a girl to do when she can’t find her legendary wrinkled cut-offs, probably because they’re wadded up on the balcony underneath a pile of empty Colt 45 bottles, three used condoms, and a spittoon?
Why, she turns to her very best distressed grass-stained pants, that’s what:
And for good measure, she gets a gigantic Coke stain on her shirt.
I can’t wait for The Best Letter I’ve, Like, Totally Ever Written, Y’All, because I’m eagerly anticipating the chapter wherein she explains her apparently unquellable impulse to communicate through bawdy t-shirts and trucker hats. “Carpe Assum — Seize the Ass,” her hat proclaims. Okay, Brit. We get it. You’re edgy. You’re nobody’s princess. Neither am I anyone’s princess, yet I still find time to clean my clothes, wash my hair, and actively not wear trucker hats with “clever” messages on them. Why don’t you give me a call? I can show you how.
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confessionsComments
It's always great to see that even pop stars have really bad days too.
Posted by Kinky on Oct 19 11:26PMA joke I heard came to mind, "Jersey girls aren't trash! Even trash gets picked up once in awhile"... then I remembered Britney is from Lousiana and I didn't know why I thought of that. Keeping with both the Britney and Halloween spirit... http://www.extremefunnypictures.com/funnypic602.htm
Posted by jeremy on Oct 19 11:27PMNothing is as American as creating media sensations and then tearing them down when the mood strikes. Never a fan of britney, but I can't say I'm thrilled to see the mighty fall.
And can I just say to whomever "requests info on becoming a client or inquiring about how to go about finding a good service here in Manhattan," dude... give it a rest... you sound as desperate as a 16 year-old boy who just sprouted pubic hair...
Posted by E! on Oct 20 12:21AM*That* is the realy Britney Spears? Why, she's no better than average looking.
Posted by wes on Oct 20 12:25AMHey Alex,
That was a pretty rough deal you went through with the russians.
Hope you are okay...
Posted by Charles on Oct 20 09:15AMnice plug there. I definetly gotta check that site out now. sucks to hear it's raining on the east coast too. I had a swimming pool in my parking garage this morning. nothing like having to backstroke to get to your car!
keep up the good work. I'm addicted. possibly...the new mad pony!
Posted by Evan Ames Sucks on Oct 20 12:57PMIt's like when I met Tara Reid, she's not hot, just lots of makeup to make her photo genic. When you have a shitty diet, drink like a fish, and do drugs like Scarface, looks start running down hill like a bob sled.
Posted by Pete on Oct 20 02:23PMI really have no respect for Britney Spears! First off, she passes off horrible cacophonic sounds as being legitimate music. Secondly, as if I already don't like her enough, she has PUBLICLY gone on record to back Dubya; George W. Bush!!!!! Source is CNN.
On that note, here's a picture of her with some kind of cream on her face and PICKING HER NOSE.
http://www.thesuperficial.com/images/20041012_bspears.jpg
Posted by ALEXIS on Oct 20 03:02PMI love when they catch celebrities at their worst. Not that I have any ill will, it just makes them more human and less 'god-like'.
Posted by Kandy on Oct 20 03:56PMthat photo is from a series of photos. Check the other ones here: http://tinyurl.com/64vzn
If you ask me she has a nice body and a face that works well with makeup/photoshop/etc
Posted by drunksex on Oct 20 05:07PMLarry,
Probably the reason she doesn't respond to your inane questions is because that's not the point of this site. She probably has more than enough clients without you and do you really need help finding an escort service? That's what the Yellow Pages and the last 40 pages of the Voice are for. Smarten up, pal.
Posted by What is John Guilt? on Oct 20 07:14PMIn defense of Larry, maybe he's particularly attracted to alexa through this blog. Weird, but possible, and even if alexa is completely booked up, she could answer him in an email so he doesnt complain. Whatever, it's all good, i just hate haters.
Posted by Zisk on Oct 20 07:30PMThanks Zisk...and you are nearly correct. I find the fact that Alexa has a brain very appealing. I hate stupid bimbos that I can't connect with mentally. With Alexa it seems there may be an ability to have an actual conversation--and like it or not--thats all some people want sometimes. ANd yes, if she is all booked up, perhaps she can point me in the right direction via email. But, note, I am not the first or only person to raise these issues.
Posted by Larry on Oct 20 07:37PMOh My God...I love Britney Spears, but these pics are just not the best. i would be so mad if i was a celebrity and there were terrible pictures out there of me for people to find. Poor Her :(
Posted by Adria on Oct 20 07:46PMLike any other normal person...in 5-10 years
she will just look back and laugh.
Why not post some funny pics of Courtney Love?
Oh.
Ms.Love is different.
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about me
So why am I writing this blog? I have an inner exhibitionist that just needs to be let out. I've always wanted to bare myself completely in front of strangers but have always been held back by fear.
As strange as it may sound, I've never really truly bared myself in front of any of my clients. For all that they've seen, they've never seen me be me. And for all that I've seen, I simply need to share it with you!
So why should you come? To be tantalized and teased. To get release by knowing the true me.
I promise that I won't bite, and if I do bite, I'll make sure you like it!
my favorite posts
- Caveat Vendor - Part II
- Selling Out (Part III)
- Poops!... I Did It Again!
- My First Escorting Experience
- My First Lesbian Experience
- Daddy's Little Girl (Part II)
- Selling Out (Part III)
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Lots of questions from people about either becoming a client or inquiring about how to go about finding a good service here in Manhattan. WHy do you fail to respond?
Posted by Larry on Oct 19 11:19PM